Oh, and a HOLIDAY it was!

I think this is the shortest school holiday ever. And it was filled with too many things and events. But most importantly, kids are the happiest as most of the happenings involved them and revolved around them. What else is there if it's not for them!

If I were to list down what we've been doing this holidays, it would be like this..

Week 1 - swimming, hopping from one house to another between my house and my sister's

Week 2 & 3 - Kem tahfiz in the morning. Afternoons are filled with "facebooking", futsal, or simply lepaking around. 

 End of week 3 - a one night stay in Kuala Terengganu. The trip was an unplanned one to attend Irsyad's interview at Imtiaz, a school fully funded by Yayasan Terengganu. While we attended the interview, the kids had fun at the swimming pool at my sister's place. Omar nearly drowned as he simply jumped into the pool without his float. Luckily my nephew saw him and took him out. He said he forgot to put on his float!!!

Week 4 - 6 Another busy week full of little activities like going to friends' houses, play futsal, lots and lotsa FBs, birthday parties, weddings, malls .. - all these really took up my time. The highlight of the week was an unplanned trip to a very remote resort with white waters in it. The place is called Kalumpang, somewhere in the border of Selangor and Perak. Beats me, I never heard of this place before. Believe it or not, it was the kids' first taste of river! Everybody loved it though it was the shortest trip ever (as it was so unplanned!)
Another highlight of the week was the results of Irsyad's interview. A rather unexpected result where he managed to secure a place in Imtiaz. It was rather surprising as we never expected to get accepted as everything was done last minute, from the application right to the decision to go to the interview. But I guess God has better plans for us. I just hope that he can cope with the school syllabus as it is an Ulul Albab school with visions to produce Al-Hafiz within three years from the year the students enter the school.
Week 7 - Preparation for school. Oh this will be the toughest week! There are too many things to do, books, uniforms, shoes, stationeries, etc. And additional preparation for Irsyad's going away to the boarding school.

On top of all these, there were trips to the dentist every week for Irsyad's orthodontist treatment. It had just started and I need to get it done before he goes off to Terengganu. We also had two ENT appointment early and end December for Irsyad's sinusitis which had worsened since October. Fortunately, the ENT specialist (a very handsome and kind doctor - I was very distracted - haha!) diagnosed him not having a sinusitis but just allergic rhinitis as well as his narrow nose structure which worsens his allergic. 

Having listed down all the activities, it's no wonder that I'm dead tired at the end of the day. They are hungry most of the time, their toys and things are everywhere in the house, they wear more than one set of clothes everyday if they play futsal, and not to mention sometimes they invite friends and cousins over!

There's also some workers who came to fix the defects in my house since the school holidays started. These defects include cracked walls and tiles, leaks in the toilet, and leaks in the porch. At one point, I had my toilet tiles being taken off and floor being dug to find the source of the leaks as the leak was quite bad. We had to endure the dust up and down as the workers were in and out of the house. 

Now that the holidays are almost over, I'm actually quite glad. Even though it will mean my routine chauffeuring job will be back! I just hope next year will be a better year, more prosperous and I hope I can fare better as a mom, a wife, and of course as a person as a whole. 

Happy New Year everybody!!

The Jolly season is here

Nope, the jolly season is not necessarily Xmas. It's the school holidays! It is the 7 weeks of school holidays which will drain the blood out of me! Ok perhaps it's not that bad. It means no school uniform hand-washing and ironing, no trips to the schools, no homework and tuition, and no more school parties!! But there'll be a lot of trips to everywhere else like the malls, friends' houses, wherever they feel like going (if mom agrees of course!). For as long as I remember, all the holidays passed by without any of us noticed it. All of sudden it was just ended with us thinking, what did we do during the holidays? Just eat play sleep?

This year perhaps a bit different. The first week was over with lotsa fun with their cousins, swimming, going to malls (god knows what fun is the mall??), online games, etc, etc. The next two weeks, they have started their Tahfiz camp daily at 830 to 1130. Thus will keep them busy the whole two weeks as they have lots of surahs to memorise. Then I thought of sending Eussuv to a tuition class as he did quite badly in his finals in October. Not sure yet about this one. 

We are going fishing with some friends this weekend. Our first time ever. Hope it'll be fun. The kids are ecstatic about it. We shall see.

Other than that we have yet to plan for anything. No plan of going anywhere else. We are nervously waiting -and hoping- for any offer for Irsyad to go to a boarding school (oh boy! I forgot to mention or rather "announce" that he managed to score all As in his UPSR!). And I'm supposed to take him to a dentist for his braces.. as well an appointment to see ENT specialist for his sinus.. if necessary. And I'm supposed to clean up their rooms to prepare for next year's school terms. Where am I going to trash all their books??  Aaahhh... so much to do and so little time. So disorganised of me!

But for now.. I just want to sit back and sing.. oh it's a jolly good season.. it's a jolly good season.....!

Another day

How times fly! I thought I would be a bit relaxed after THE exam (UPSR) but I was so wrong. I was so damn busy! I didn't have t the time to write (nor the mood!). There were too many school activities, parties, games, trips. And not to mention final exams for other kids. My time was spent cooking and transporting kids here and there. The cooking part is somewhat ridiculous... parties are every week thus I have to do extra cooking.. pasta la, muffin la, cake la.. Then there's October birthday party for Eussuv and Syasya. Though only close friends were invited, it was still a party and I still had to cook. But being me, not so rajin one, I only had something simple for the kids and, catered something else for adults. It was a very small party but it was a great one.

Tomorrow is gonna be a big day .. UPSR results will be out. And the day after is PSRA results. I reminded Irsyad (and myself as well) over and over again that we have to accept whatever results that he gets. He has tried hard, we all have. And the rest is in His hands. Who are we to question Him. We will have to brace tomorrow with open hearts.
Right after the results, they will head off to Melaka for a school trip. Something they have planned for months and coincidentally  the results are out on the same day. Since bookings have been made, they decided to go ahead with it. I for one don't really agree with this because I need him to be around to "digest" whatever results he may get, with me. Not far away with some friends. It's bad enough that now that he spends too much time with friends "online"!

As for now, I shall keep myself busy for another class party this afternoon and worry about tomorrow .. tomorrow itself!

It's finally here..

The most awaited moment is finally here. Irsyad is sitting for his Math UPSR paper at this very moment. Or maybe he's just done with it. We waited for this moment for so long with a lot of hardship and struggle and not forgetting some sacrifice. And I couldn't believe it's finally here. He's apparently very nervous since yesterday morning on the first day. I thought he would be cool.. I was wrong. He had nervous cough and stomach pain early morning. This rarely happened on normal days. He braced through his BM paper with a few doubts afterwards. Came back and asked me, "Mom, what is tepak sirih?" Oh dearrrr! He answered "seikat" tepak sirih and "sebatang" kacip!!!! I don't blame him for not knowing.. he's never even seen tepak sirih. He thought it was just sirih.. so it's seikat!

At the eleventh hour last night he started asking me basic questions of Math. Like formula of profit. Ouhhhh... I feel like calling his tuition teacher and ask him.. what's going on here?? He's nervous alrite! Tomorrow will be a longgg day with English paper 1 and 2, and Science. To wrap it up they will also have aptitude test. A test that nobody knows what it's all about... and the teachers never bother to tell them what is it all about and for what. Typical of Malaysian education system. 

After all his efforts, I just hope he'll do well. But like I told him many many times, "just do your best, I will accept whatever results you bring home. I know you've worked hard. I still love you anyway!"

There are over 490,000 candidates sitting for UPSR this year.. and I thought whoaaaa.. that many?? Really? So imagine if you want to put them into boarding school, imagine the fight.I will start thinking of secondary school nearer to the time. Next week will another exam, PSRA, for his agama school. But first, we will balik kampung for raya this weekend. A delayed raya due to UPSR!

Ramadhan that's almost ending

I couldn't believe August is almost over not to mention Syawal is just another 10 days away. I didn't even get to wish Selamat Berpuasa to all my friends! Perhaps I should already be wishing everybody Selamat Hari Raya. This has been the most hectic Ramadhan ever! It's full with cooking plus the usual routine housework that never ends. I have to adjust my routine to suit the cooking timing. 

Then there's exams and exams. Couldn't understand why they have to schedule exams during Ramadhan. If we are truly an Islamic country, there should be no school in Ramadhan at all. Like we all don't know what kind of country we live in!!! OK back to exams, Irsyad will be sitting for his UPSR a week after raya. That would also mean, no raya this year. I (not Irsyad) will be too nervous to celebrate the Eid! Which this also means, we are not going back to my hometown this year. The good thing is, 3 other cousins of his, are also sitting for the exam. Thus none of my siblings are going back to our hometown. Instead we all decide to welcome Syawal here in KL. How boring huh! Even my siblings will be travelling here. A change of celebration for once. I hope things will go well and as planned!

There's so much to tell since July.. but I don't have the time nor the energy to write. Perhaps I will update later.

For now I wish everybody Selamat Hari Raya and happy holidays. Maaf Zahir Batin. Hope everybody have a safe raya!

School snippets

Every school day I listen to endless school stories from the kids. It's interesting, funny, disgusting, scary, as well as "menggeramkan". And often, I want to write it out so that I can keep the stories alive. Then again I never get around to write as time does not permit me. Two snippets below however are still fresh in my mind and it's kinda hilarious and at the same time "woke me up"!

Snippet 1
A few weeks ago as we were having breakfast before kids went off to school and hubby to work, I commented something about dear hubby. Something about his appearance. He didn't quite like what I said so I had to counter it with something else so that it will not spoil his morning. Then we were interrupted by Irsyad who said this .. "Oh you know Mom, yesterday as I reached the school, my friend saw you and asked me, is that your grandma?"I can feel for a moment my world stopped, my jaw dropped to the floor and my body sinking into the ground! So what did you say, I asked. "Nope, it's my mom". The whole time the whole family was listening. And dear hubby, instead of saying something to soothe me as not to "spoil my day".. had to say this.. there I told you, you have to watch your appearence, bla bla bla. It really spoiled my day! I felt bad the whole day and thought real hard... gosh, I looked that old? Being a housewife has changed that much?? Oh dear!


Snippet 2
Just last week I had to attend the report card day for Eussuv and Syasya. Everything went well, nothing extraordinary. At home, just near bed time that nite, as I was feeling so exhausted after a long day of "work", Eussuv opened his mouth and told his story. Two gals in his class were chatting while waiting for their parents to come for their report cards. Parents were seated just outside the class while waiting for their turn. One of the gals said, ok let's see who's mom is prettier, yours or mine. The other gal agreed and they waited impatiently for their moms to turn up. Suddenly came this "grandma" flashing a smile and popping her head into the class to ensure she was in the right class. And the gals were amazed and said... my god, who's mom is that.. so so pretty (better expressed as .. mak sapa tu? lawa gilaaa!!)!! The other gal said, hmmm let me guess, must be Eussuv's mom! She turned around and asked Eussuv: Eussuv, is that your mom? Nonchalantly, Eussuv admitted the mom who is "lawa gilaaaa" is his mom! The gals then said, there you go, our moms "dah kalah". I was laughing really hard... I was no longer exhausted. It was like an antidote suddenly being injected into my body after the grandma episode!

Sometimes I can go crazy with the kids, but there are also the ones who will cure me. They actually taught me a lot about life around me and they are the ones who actually made me realise of who I am and what I really am. One thing for sure now, I no longer take my appearence lightly especially with the kids around!!

Happenings in April and May

This is an overdue entry which I was supposed to upload but didn't have the time to get around it. So here it is. My busy schedule included these happy and colorful events. 



The two little ones on the way to the mosque for the akad nikah ceremony of one of their favourite cousins, my nephew Hafiz.



The bride and groom with the groom's mom, my sister - after the akad at the mosque.



The happy newlywed at the bride's reception in PJ.



Reception at my sister's house in Kuantan. In times like this, kids are the happiest! They enjoyed the moments, the crowd.. even the heat!



Another wedding, of my niece. The three little flower gals who were not too happy with the scarf around their neck!



Blame it on the cameraman... and the camera. My family and the handsome pair of pengantin.

The bride and groom with their respective parents at the groom's reception.

We all had great time meeting family and relatives whom in these days, we only get to see during weddings, hari raya, or funerals. I pray both couples be blessed with happiness, health and wealth for the rest of their married lives.

Oh scoliosis!

I can't believe it was 5 weeks ago since I last blog! A lot has been going on .. and I am still maidless. Of course, life must still go on. I am adjusting (and accepting) life as it is. Even though I wish my health is better so that I can do better. 

I have a physical condition called "scoliosis", where my back bone is somewhat curved. It's inborn. It's genetically inherited. It was not so obvious when I was small but it's rather obvious now that I have aged. I can't do and lift heavy things and gets tired easily. The only way to correct it is via surgery but must done at an early age like in the teens while the bones are are still 'soft'. Two of my nieces (the twins) had their surgery last year and this year respectively at the age of 18 and 19. When I was that age, my mom already inquired about this surgery unfortunately the technology has yet to reach Malaysia then. When I was in the States, I went to see a chiropractor who confirmed my condition. But all he was interested in was to sell their products to ease my discomfort. So I left it as it is. Since it's not such a bother then.

Now however I can really feel it and sometimes look like Hunchback of Notre Dame. Because of this also I often get muscle spasm on my lower back. I've had this many times for the past few years and every time I got it I will not be able to walk properly for a few days. Usually I'll just get some muscle relaxant pills and some rest. Things will get back to normal within a week. I got one a few weeks ago .. and boy.. imagine the chaos in my household. No cooking, laundry and cleaning for a few days. Hubby had to take leave to transport the kids to school. Luckily it was only for a few days. It had to be!

Whatever it is, I am still thankful it is only physical. It is nothing major that I should to be too worried about. I only have to be careful!

And this is life!

Here I am blogging away on a Saturday night with 101 things to do in my head instead of blogging. It's only been two weeks now. I am a full housewife, I mean a real one. No maid, no help. Some people have no maid but have many "help" around the house. Could be from extended family member or hubby or kids. I have VERY little of that. I'm basically running aroud the house trying to do everything just like my maid used to do. I have yet to succeed. So far I only managed to mop upstairs once. Once!! My maid did it everyday. I surely cannot compare myself to her as her job was to clean the house, help me in cooking, do the laundry. I, on the other hand, other than taking over her job, I have the kids to care for, looking after their well-being and transport them everywhere, groceries shopping. No wonder I don't have enough time. 

I don't know how other women do it, but I don't think I can last for long. There's so much to do and so little time. It is endless! I thought I can do it because I've done it before. Somehow rather this time I was wrong, it is so different. My body ache all over, I'm dead the minute my head touched the pillow at night, I can't watch any tv, read any paper and worst, no online time (unless I steal the time like now). It's rather hopeless. And still, I see all other women do it, all the time, no complaints!

And this is life?????

School break

The first term break was just over. Thought I could have some peace at home after one week of chaos.. but it was extended. The kids (except Eussuv) developed red-eyes, some eye discharge and fever on Sunday. Great timing! Went to see a GP on Sunday night and no school for the next day. So Monday was full of medication routine. The hard part was giving them the antibiotic, ewwhhh.. it tasted awful. Couldn't they make some nice antibiotic for kids??

Actually the break was not so bad. Started on Friday (12th) - we started one day early - we went to Kuantan for my nephew's wedding. Kids had so much fun meeting their cousins and had wonderful time at the hotel pool. The rest of the week was nothing much as Irsyad had extra classes from 8am-11:30pm and tuition at night. While Irsyad went to his classes, I made sure Eussuv review his subjects with the revision books! So much of a school break! But the boys enjoyed their futsal moment every evening at the futsal court nearby. Not only they got to play, they also make many new friends.

On Sunday  (before the red-eye appeared) we went to Putrajaya for the Hot Air Balloon show. So much excitement, so disappointing... there were so many people, so many cars, so many stalls selling stuff, so many other activities like waterball, tricycle or something, coloring contest (as usual) .. and it was blazing hot at 12pm. Worst, there was no sign of hot air balloon anywhere. We were really late. The balloons were only up in early morning and evening. Last year, the first year of the carnival, we got there around 9am. No traffic, no carnival. It was great and fun. This year it seems that the carnival has taken over the actual balloon activities... and of course the fact that we were late! But really, I think it's a Malaysian thing, if they want to attract people to some new thing, they must have a carnival. Lots of people will come of course, but not so much to see and learn about this new thing but to go to the carnival and get good bargain on thingsl. Typical! So much of that, we left after going around most of the activity booths and found most of it closed for lunch. What luck! We shall try again next year then.

Till the next school holidays...  

The last few days of "freedom"

I'm enjoying my last few days of "freedom" before my maid goes off for good. I'm watching Barbie as Rapunzel with the kids while blogging. Well, it's not like I have been sitting here since I woke up..! I have finished one round of cleaning my bedroom and one toilet. I've bathed the two little kids and feed them. I'm trying to prepare myself mentally and physically for being maidless. Not that I never live without them, it's just that this time it may be for a longer time or for good? We'll see how long I can take it. Not that I have to go to work anyways! I should be able to care for my family myself, shouldn't I? 

Apart from the luxury of free time and leisure that I might lose, I will definitely miss my maid. So will the kids. She will also miss us for sure.  I will miss her sambal and doughnuts and all the nice meals she cooked for us.I thought she would be happy to be sent home but I just discovered that she is rather sad and scared to go back. Going home, even means to be with her two kids, she will face hardship of raising her kids in poverty. It will also mean she has to face villagers who would think she has done something bad because she goes back before her contract ended. Even worse when they will eventually discovered that she's pregnant. They will just talk bad, even they know she's here with her husband. That's how their lives are!

I wish her the best, I pray for her well-being. I also pray for me ... for being maidless. I shall enjoy these few moments till the day comes (which is about 8 days away!).

Unbearable heat

Perhaps the world is coming to its end. The weather around the world is at its worst. While one part is experiencing extreme cold, this part is having the worst heat ever. I don't think I have ever experienced this kind of heat in my entire life. Not even in the Holy Land! It's simply too hot!! Surely my next electricity bill will explode. The aircond is on most of the time day and night.. I'm almost suffocated. I'm one person who prefers natural air to aircond. And yet, in the current weather I can only stand a few hours of the natural air! I bet it's a different story if you are in the office the whole day, you don't feel much heat. Even the rain does not help. When it rains, the heat is even worse since the hot air comes up to the air due to the rain. 

Ya Allah, please have some mercy on us! Please cool the earth.
And people... stop contributing to the global warming!

The love that was lost in the air

It was nerve-wrecking and tear-jerking. Nervous because you are hopeful of outcome and wishing that it will end as what you wanted. Emotional was seeing the crumble of people's dream, life, love and whatever that is related to it. It was an experience that I hope and pray that I don't have to go through again. But it was good reminder.

I had to accompany someone very dear (let's name her N) to me to settle her divorce case in a Syariah court. I've never been to any court before. My first impression, the court was too small. Well maybe it's because it a "low" court, not a high court. It was a public court so you get to hear everybody's case before you, not so loud and clear but you can still know what's going on. And surprisingly, you have to cover your aurat in the court. The court police will ask you to go out and cover yourself properly if you don't. What shocked me was most of the audience which consists of plaintiffs and defendants, and their supporters (family and friends) are YOUNG people. I seriously believe I was the eldest person in the court other than the judge at that time. I'm beginning to wonder what is the meaning of the marriage institution for the youngsters these days.  

N's case was the fifth one to be called. So I got to listen to four other cases. Of which the first one was read too softly for us to hear and the other was represented by a lawyer and again she spoke too soft for our nosy ears. The one that moved me was a divorce application of a very young couple  who seemed to be not more than 25 years of age. Without even a glance to each other they stood before the judge, answering him confidently. The guy read the divorce lafaz without hesitation, no quiver, no emotion. Me on the other was already in my tears (even not knowing who they are!). The ex-wife had a somewhat sad face. The next case was a fasakh application - an application to dissolve a marriage due specific reasons. The plaintiff, a lady, came alone. The judge asked, "so where is the defendant", she said - "at home, and he knew I was coming to the court today". The lady spoke softly only for the judge's ears the reason of the fasakh. It seemed that the couple was still staying together and obviously the husband refused to come to the court.  No wonder it takes ages for these cases to end.


N's case was called. They answered the judge accordingly and N's answers were more confidently said than her counterpart. Obviously she was more ready. Her husband (now ex) seemed a bit lost. As he said the lafaz, he was hesitant at first, and in tears. I was already in tears the minute N went stood in front of the judge! Ah.. so emotional! N cried too, but a cry of relief, and perhaps a bit of sadness over the love that is lost. But definitely I know she did not cry of losing the guy! After it was over, N's ex came to salam me with respect. I thanked him for taking care of N for the two years they were together.


That was it. Short, but earth shattering. Short but only the ones who had to go through it knew how painful it was. Two hearts became one, then broken into two again. Two paths met leading to one and suddenly one took a different route. Life is full of twist and turns. We can only plan, but only Allah knows best what's in store for us. 


I pray N will find another love. Or love will find her. She still love him, she said.. but I told her, it's not him that you love, it's the love that you had with him that you love. It's ok to hang on to the love, but not to him. And if she truly understands that only love to Allah is eternal, it will be easier for her to love another being again. I hope she will get up and love again.

Maid oh maid!

Anybody who hires a domestic helper a.k.a maid, for whatever reason, surely has a story or two to tell. The stories are endless. Good ones, bad ones and horrifying ones! I have four maids so far in the span of 7 years. Let me tell you my stories.

Maid 1 : A spinster who hailed from East Java. She looked more like a man and spoke with a rough voice. She's very hardworking in her own way. She followed her work routine pretty well but if the routine was disrupted, everything else went haywire. Most of the time it was disrupted, thus a lot of work was often unfinished. If I scolded her or even told her nicely of her mistakes, she'd get really angry. Either she would talk back defending herself or say "Allahuakbar, Allahuakbar" then went off to have her wudhuk and sometimes even perform solat sunat to cool herself. The good thing was, the kids like her because they like to play with her. After two years, I terminated her contract because her "talk back" was getting too unbearable!

Maid 2 : A very soft spoken and pretty little thing who seemed to be godsent after the rough Javanese. Came from Bandung and a Sunda. Sunda is known for their softspoken and good heart. She can cook and clean pretty well. Kids love her. She seemed to be perfect for the first year. We really fell for her that we treat her real good. Things started to go wrong when we gave her a handphone. She claimed she has a "paman" living in Malaysia. During this time, my hubby was away working. So there were only me, kids and her. I truly depended on her on many things, and she was often reliable. And perhaps because of this I overlooked many things. Since I was working and needed her help badly, I tolerate all the little things I noticed. Until one day I went home unannounced in the mid day. My heart almost stopped beating when I went into a messy house and nobody in it. Including my two little kids. I was almost histerical. I called her handphone and asked her where she was. Not knowing I was at home, she sweetly told me she's cleaning my room upstairs. I told her off telling her I was at home. I was already screaming then, thinking of my kids with her. After a few on and off the phone because she was scared of my screaming.. she told me she was in Shah Alam in a taxi with my kids! She even let the taxi driver spoke to me. He reassured me that my kids were OK and they were returning home. He claimed that my maid called him to take her to the clinic. But why so far away (about 20km away)? Why not tell me? I could take her myself. We (me and my neighbor) waited for 20 minutes before the taxi arrived in front of my house. That was the longest 20 minutes of my life!! I blew off my top when she reached home but at the same time so grateful that my kids are safe with me again. She claimed she was having stomach pain. She confessed she was pregnant. Since I did not allow her any weekend breaks, I gathered she brought home men (not just one man) while I was not at home or at night when I was sleeping. I also suspected she went to the clinic to have an abortion (with the kids along!!) but the doctor was not in. I sent her back to the agent half an hour after that. Took one week off from work before I found a babysitter near my house.

Maid 3: This one came 3 months after the horrifying experience of Maid 2. I still have the phobia, but I need a helper badly since my hubby was going away again.She lasted for 3 months only since she already showed bad signs since day 1. She claimed my house was haunted. She was very weird in many ways. Her mom was working in another state. She was 30 yrs old and her mom was abt 45. She begged to see her mom almost every weekend. One day I found her ready with her bag to go see her mom. I sent her back to the agent instead before she ran off while I was at work.


Maid 4: The most efficient, longest serving and almost too good to be true. This is my current maid. I took her in after she's being sacked from a millionaire's house. They accused her of stealing an expensive jewelery. My agent believed she didn't take it. I decided to take her anyway because I was desperate, because I believed my agent and because I tawakkal to Allah. Also, at that time I believed they were all the same, either way I will get a bad one! I have lost hope. I don't have any expensive jewelery for her to steal anyway! Still, I was cautious for the first few months. I was very strict on her as well and watched her like a hawk. She turned out the most OK. She knows of her roles and responsibilities, she does her work diligently. I don't have to ask, she will do it. Almost perfect. It's been two years now. I renewed her permit last November for her third year here. I gave her 5 weeks off (way too long) for her to see her family last Hari Raya. Her husband is working here in a restaurant. I brought her see her hubby once in a while. Last few weeks we allowed the husband to stay overnight at our house. I guess we are the most "understanding" employer. Understanding the human needs! Right! And now, serves us right for being so understanding. She is now a few weeks pregnant! She is pregnant!!

My almost perfect maid, pregnant! I know it is her right. It was with her legal hubby. But she has a contract with me.. she's not supposed to get pregnant while working. But who am I to question Allah's plan for me. I can only pray for her health before I send her home. And I can only pray for the best for myself to handle the four brats and a house, and the never ending laundry. I shall brace it all!


Maid oh maid.. to have or not to have! Since I'm not working anymore, the need is not so great, but since the four are growing, there are too much to be done in the house and I need to concentrate more on the kids, I do appreciate some help!

Another baking project

This is my second baking project for this year. A surprise cuppies for my brother's birthday. The cake is Red Velvet cake... not a very common cake but it's rather popular in the States. A traditional southerner cake as they put it. I've never tasted it before either, but I was really tempted to try because of the uniqueness of the color and the ingredients. The color is dark red due to food coloring and you have to put vinegar in the cake mixture. Surprisingly, as I followed the ingredients strictly, it came out beautiful. Almost perfect except for the color. I didn't feel good to pour the whole bottle of 25ml red coloring into the mixture. I only put about 3 tablespoon. Thus I got just a hint of red and the rest were chocolate. As the reviewers of the recipe put it (this recipe comes from the internet of course! complete with review), this is not supposed to be a chocolate cake. And beats me, I have no idea what it's supposed to be. It tasted rather nice, a bit tangy and chewy not really cakelike but still soft. I liked it.

As for the toppings, I used the usual butter toppings as opposed to cream cheese as suggested in the recipe. And still, it turned out well. The theme is LOVE.

Red velvet cupcake. It's supposed to be red! Up close and personal: my sister's design.

My favorite design...

Rossettes!


The finished product. The birthday "boy" was touched. His wife loved the cuppies! HAPPY BIRTHDAY my dear brother. May Allah bless you!

I like!

I haven't done this for ages. I thought this blog needs an uplift.. so this is what I've come up with. Took me a few hours to do this.. amateur! Oh well.. I like what I see so far. Will definitely work on it more tomorrow.

A prayer for Qistina

Qistina is an 11 year-old daughter of my friend, Dr.Maryna and her hubby, Azhan. She was diagnosed having a condition called hydrocephaulus since she was a baby. She has been treated accordingly with a shunt system in her brain. The system is supposed to last her a lifetime. Somehow recently, things got complicated. The shunt somehow was displaced over time perhaps due to her growth. She is taller than most kids her age and the shunt was inserted when she was a baby. Qistina was in much pain for quite some time (months!) before the doctor discovered the cause. She underwent two surgeries early January to replace the shunt. The doctors discovered the very next day that the shunt was not "properly placed", hence the second surgery. She had high fever one week after the second surgery much to everybody's worries. It was not a good sign in fear of infection or other possible complications. She recovered after a few more days of antibiotics and observations. She has started school this week.

What amazed me is this family's courage, patience and determination over this situation. Qistina's parents are very positive and patient handling her sickness and treatment given. They spent sleepless nights at the hospital taking care of her. I guess that's what all parents would do in times like this. They somehow looked very calm and cool to me despite going through heart-wrenching moments seeing her pain. Not like any stressed and worried parents with a sick child. Qistina is also a very strong child. Though she wailed and screamed in pain, she is determined to make it through.

I pray that she will fully recover with no more complications and lead a normal life as she's supposed to. Having a great parents like hers will definitely help I'm sure. To her parents, well done. I feel for you both, I salute you and I hope you will always be patient and strong for this test Allah has given upon you.

The kampung memories

There's always a price to pay for development. Yes? No doubt. I was in my kampung over the weekend. I love my kampung, I love my parents house. Over the years, slowly, I saw a lot of development in the kampung which I wish did not happen. But you cannot stop other people selling their land and build a house or even developing another residential area altogether.

I grew up in a kampung where there were rubber trees behind my house, a swamp if you trek further enough after the rubber trees, and also another small forest in front of my house. All houses in the kampung were nice wooden kampung houses with lots of trees in between them. It was really dark at night that you dare not go out at night. The town would be dead by 8pm. Supermarkets, cinemas or any entertainment outlet was unheard of. The only hapening thing was the Pekan Sehari on Friday nites and continued on until Saturday afternoons. They sold kampung vege and food and sometimes clothings. There was also the most awaited event of the year which was a month long bazaar in the month of October in conjunction of the Sultan's birthday. Everybody loved this bazaar which sells all sorts of things ranging to food, clothings, acessories, kitchennetes, furnitures, etc, etc. It took up a whole strecth of street at the riverfront. It was simply happening!

But that was then. These days, sadly all of it is almost gone. The rubber trees was cleared to make way for more kampung houses. Recently my right door neighbor sold their land to make way for a housing area all the way to the swamp area. My left door neighbor sold their land to a dentist who then built a huge bungalow complete with landscaping and all. Overshadowing my kampung house. I used to sit by the window to watch the trees, listening to the birds and bees, and inhaling real fresh air. Can't no longer do that, my view is blocked by the bungalow, but thank god I can still listen to the sound of nature and feel the fresh air. And on my right, I used to lie down at the balcony, read some books or simply lazing around looking at the trees and the sky. Well I can still do that, but there's no more trees, but a road leading to the new housing area. I can even see the main road which was then very much hidden by trees and bushes. Looking ahead, the small forest is also cleared for more bricks house or maybe another bungalow. I feel so bare! It's like the house is exposed! And worse, the 40 year-old house looked VERY old as though it can come down anytime.

The town itself is now mushroomed with shops, supermarkets, cybercafes and what not. Very much alive even at 10pm!

I hope the development will not tear down my parents' house. It is the only house my parents left us. It is the only memory I had with my parents. It is the memory that I shared with my kids of my childhood. And it's the only place I go back to during Hari Raya and such. Perhaps me and my siblings should 'redevelop' the place to be at par with the surroundings? No I will not agree!

Cacat!

I've been called many names but not cacat (handicapped)! Being born different from a normal person - well just different in this part of the world - I always have to explain myself. For those who know me will know what I mean, for those who don't .. well.. I'm just a bit different on the outlook, in terms of eye color. It's something inherited, definitely not handicapped. Scientifcally, as research has concluded, eye color other than dark brown is definitely gene mutation - but just that, no other physical or mental problem, or any other related condition.So in other words, I am as normal as any other human being except that my eye color is different from other person of my race.

Having said that, I actually had and still have many many encounters, mostly funny ones, where people are curious about "what" I am. Some look at me as if I am an alien, some are bold enough to say not so nice things on my face thinking that I am fake, some even don't want to walk with me because they will be stared at too. Like it or not I have to kill their curiosity. Most of the time I would just say something simple (and nicely) to shut them off without having to tell the story of my life.

And now, two of my kids inherited my eyes. Even more different because they only inherited one side of the eyes. Meaning to say they have two different eye colors,dark brown and blue! This is nothing unusual in my family though. Irsyad did not have as much problems since the difference is not so glaring. Syasya on the other hand, has a rather gleaming blue eyes which is very obvious. Now that she just starts school, other kids and teachers have started to quiz her about her eyes. I have taught her what to say and she handles it pretty well. The only problem is that these few days some kids, being kids, calls her "cacat"! And some asked her if she's cacat! She came home asking me what cacat is. What I fear has come true. Thankfully she did not cry or afraid of people staring at her or asking her about it (unlike me who was so scared to go out of the house at one time!). Somehow rather, it made me sad to think of her being called cacat. Like I said, I've been called many things but not that.

It's still a long way to go for them. Irsyad is handling it pretty well, and did not attract too much attention. I guess it's easier for a boy in this situation. But I'm rather worried about Syasya, even though she's doing OK so far, I'm afraid she will feel inferior someday especially in her teens. I've been through it and I know what it's like. But that was then, kids these days are bolder and more daring. My parents never told me the history of our family and why we are like that. I just knew it was inherited. And they never told me how to handle "the situations". But now, being in this era, where curiosity can really kill you (not just the cat), I really have to tell my kids, and tell them what to say and what to do. I hope I will be around long enough for them so that they can lead a normal life without feeling any inferiority due to their differences.

No, please, my babies are not cacat... they are just different!!

Happy New Year

I seem to have forgotten how to write! There are just too many things to do that my desire to write is almost non-existent! And talk about wanting to be a writer.. what a joke huh..

Anyways, I don't know how time has slipped by too fast. 2009 was a year of too many things. Too many! I would say it was a good year. It's been a year now that I am a housewife. It's kinda funny to say it at first, a housewife. I thought at least I should be a "work-at-home-mom". That was the original plan. Somehow along the way, it just didn't turn out to be like I wanted. Perhaps I'm not determined enough. Perhaps I didn't have a good plan after all. So now, the title "fulltime housewife" is pasted rather firmly on my forehead.

For 2010, still, my plan include to generate some income. How? God knows. It definitely will not fall from the sky .... I have to do something. I am still thinking.

The kids are slowly settling down at school. It's pretty hectic with all 3 going to school. Worst is, starting next week they finish at 3 different times (1:00pm. 1:30pm, 2:00pm)! And their agama school starts at 2:30pm. How chaotic is that? If the school is walking distance from my house I will have no problem. But it's about 8mins drive away (without any traffic!). And they say housewives are the luckiest person on earth to be at home??? But no matter what, I AM still glad to be at home.

2010 will be a year full of hope. Irsyad will be sitting for his UPSR. I am more nervous than him! I am rather confident of his capabilities but still we never know. I just hope he will do well and his wishes to excell is fullfilled. I also hope Eussuv will do better, and I have seen some improvement, not academically yet but his attitude towards school. I hope it will last. Syasya is in Year One and already enjoying school. But she is rather apprehensive about going to agama school in the afternoon. Perhaps because she's tired. Hope she'll get used to it.

I hope things in general will be better this year. I can feel the difference already. Still can't quite believe I am housewife!!

Happy New Year everyone. I hope it'll be a great year for everybody.