Monday, January 25, 2010


I've been called many names but not cacat (handicapped)! Being born different from a normal person - well just different in this part of the world - I always have to explain myself. For those who know me will know what I mean, for those who don't .. well.. I'm just a bit different on the outlook, in terms of eye color. It's something inherited, definitely not handicapped. Scientifcally, as research has concluded, eye color other than dark brown is definitely gene mutation - but just that, no other physical or mental problem, or any other related condition.So in other words, I am as normal as any other human being except that my eye color is different from other person of my race.

Having said that, I actually had and still have many many encounters, mostly funny ones, where people are curious about "what" I am. Some look at me as if I am an alien, some are bold enough to say not so nice things on my face thinking that I am fake, some even don't want to walk with me because they will be stared at too. Like it or not I have to kill their curiosity. Most of the time I would just say something simple (and nicely) to shut them off without having to tell the story of my life.

And now, two of my kids inherited my eyes. Even more different because they only inherited one side of the eyes. Meaning to say they have two different eye colors,dark brown and blue! This is nothing unusual in my family though. Irsyad did not have as much problems since the difference is not so glaring. Syasya on the other hand, has a rather gleaming blue eyes which is very obvious. Now that she just starts school, other kids and teachers have started to quiz her about her eyes. I have taught her what to say and she handles it pretty well. The only problem is that these few days some kids, being kids, calls her "cacat"! And some asked her if she's cacat! She came home asking me what cacat is. What I fear has come true. Thankfully she did not cry or afraid of people staring at her or asking her about it (unlike me who was so scared to go out of the house at one time!). Somehow rather, it made me sad to think of her being called cacat. Like I said, I've been called many things but not that.

It's still a long way to go for them. Irsyad is handling it pretty well, and did not attract too much attention. I guess it's easier for a boy in this situation. But I'm rather worried about Syasya, even though she's doing OK so far, I'm afraid she will feel inferior someday especially in her teens. I've been through it and I know what it's like. But that was then, kids these days are bolder and more daring. My parents never told me the history of our family and why we are like that. I just knew it was inherited. And they never told me how to handle "the situations". But now, being in this era, where curiosity can really kill you (not just the cat), I really have to tell my kids, and tell them what to say and what to do. I hope I will be around long enough for them so that they can lead a normal life without feeling any inferiority due to their differences.

No, please, my babies are not cacat... they are just different!!


3yearshousewife said...

Kids can sometimes be very mean. Kesian Syasya. Hope she'll stay strong.
You really do have blue eyes? Wow, I mean really WOW. It's very interesting too as to how you inherited the extraordinary feature.
Org lain susah2 beli lenses nak mata biru...

SabrinaWM said...

Friend, I can understand that. Dealing with inferiority complex is not easy, especially among young kids. I hope Syasya will fare well with understanding and supportive mother that she has. Funny thing is - my daughter who is named Aina Syasya, right now undergoing some inferiority and confidence issues because of her physical condition and maybe more too. She's a teenager now but the problem had started since she was in her primary school - how others and teachers treat her in some events that kind of boost up the problem. That translates to problem in getting along with friends at teenage stage. But .. I can see that you had foreseen this issues and had taken steps to intervene. All the best!

Amal said...

k tahiyyah ada mata biru yg amat cantek kalernya... biru yg jernih.. nampak garis mata (erk.. i'm one of the ppl yg staring at u huh..)

hmm.. well.. u must help syasya to prepare the sweet and sadis answer as well hehe.. in case dia kene buli..

btw.. what ever kaler pun.. syasya maintain cute!

Mommy dearie said...

3yearshousewife, really it's nothing to WOW about... lagi susah I ada! If duduk overseas ok la.. duduk kat Mesia, jadi la alien!

Sabrina, thanks.

Amal! Tak yah lah lebey2... takde cash la!LOL!

Amal said...

Cheque pun fine for me.. ekekekek

rozi hamsawi said...

salam. reading this, i kesian kat syasya. the word cacat is just too strong for a kid her age. I hope u will keep her strong.

rozi hamsawi said...

salam. reading this, i kesian kat syasya. the word cacat is just too strong for a kid her age. I hope u will keep her strong.