Monday, January 25, 2010


I've been called many names but not cacat (handicapped)! Being born different from a normal person - well just different in this part of the world - I always have to explain myself. For those who know me will know what I mean, for those who don't .. well.. I'm just a bit different on the outlook, in terms of eye color. It's something inherited, definitely not handicapped. Scientifcally, as research has concluded, eye color other than dark brown is definitely gene mutation - but just that, no other physical or mental problem, or any other related condition.So in other words, I am as normal as any other human being except that my eye color is different from other person of my race.

Having said that, I actually had and still have many many encounters, mostly funny ones, where people are curious about "what" I am. Some look at me as if I am an alien, some are bold enough to say not so nice things on my face thinking that I am fake, some even don't want to walk with me because they will be stared at too. Like it or not I have to kill their curiosity. Most of the time I would just say something simple (and nicely) to shut them off without having to tell the story of my life.

And now, two of my kids inherited my eyes. Even more different because they only inherited one side of the eyes. Meaning to say they have two different eye colors,dark brown and blue! This is nothing unusual in my family though. Irsyad did not have as much problems since the difference is not so glaring. Syasya on the other hand, has a rather gleaming blue eyes which is very obvious. Now that she just starts school, other kids and teachers have started to quiz her about her eyes. I have taught her what to say and she handles it pretty well. The only problem is that these few days some kids, being kids, calls her "cacat"! And some asked her if she's cacat! She came home asking me what cacat is. What I fear has come true. Thankfully she did not cry or afraid of people staring at her or asking her about it (unlike me who was so scared to go out of the house at one time!). Somehow rather, it made me sad to think of her being called cacat. Like I said, I've been called many things but not that.

It's still a long way to go for them. Irsyad is handling it pretty well, and did not attract too much attention. I guess it's easier for a boy in this situation. But I'm rather worried about Syasya, even though she's doing OK so far, I'm afraid she will feel inferior someday especially in her teens. I've been through it and I know what it's like. But that was then, kids these days are bolder and more daring. My parents never told me the history of our family and why we are like that. I just knew it was inherited. And they never told me how to handle "the situations". But now, being in this era, where curiosity can really kill you (not just the cat), I really have to tell my kids, and tell them what to say and what to do. I hope I will be around long enough for them so that they can lead a normal life without feeling any inferiority due to their differences.

No, please, my babies are not cacat... they are just different!!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Happy New Year

I seem to have forgotten how to write! There are just too many things to do that my desire to write is almost non-existent! And talk about wanting to be a writer.. what a joke huh..

Anyways, I don't know how time has slipped by too fast. 2009 was a year of too many things. Too many! I would say it was a good year. It's been a year now that I am a housewife. It's kinda funny to say it at first, a housewife. I thought at least I should be a "work-at-home-mom". That was the original plan. Somehow along the way, it just didn't turn out to be like I wanted. Perhaps I'm not determined enough. Perhaps I didn't have a good plan after all. So now, the title "fulltime housewife" is pasted rather firmly on my forehead.

For 2010, still, my plan include to generate some income. How? God knows. It definitely will not fall from the sky .... I have to do something. I am still thinking.

The kids are slowly settling down at school. It's pretty hectic with all 3 going to school. Worst is, starting next week they finish at 3 different times (1:00pm. 1:30pm, 2:00pm)! And their agama school starts at 2:30pm. How chaotic is that? If the school is walking distance from my house I will have no problem. But it's about 8mins drive away (without any traffic!). And they say housewives are the luckiest person on earth to be at home??? But no matter what, I AM still glad to be at home.

2010 will be a year full of hope. Irsyad will be sitting for his UPSR. I am more nervous than him! I am rather confident of his capabilities but still we never know. I just hope he will do well and his wishes to excell is fullfilled. I also hope Eussuv will do better, and I have seen some improvement, not academically yet but his attitude towards school. I hope it will last. Syasya is in Year One and already enjoying school. But she is rather apprehensive about going to agama school in the afternoon. Perhaps because she's tired. Hope she'll get used to it.

I hope things in general will be better this year. I can feel the difference already. Still can't quite believe I am housewife!!

Happy New Year everyone. I hope it'll be a great year for everybody.