Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The love that was lost in the air

It was nerve-wrecking and tear-jerking. Nervous because you are hopeful of outcome and wishing that it will end as what you wanted. Emotional was seeing the crumble of people's dream, life, love and whatever that is related to it. It was an experience that I hope and pray that I don't have to go through again. But it was good reminder.

I had to accompany someone very dear (let's name her N) to me to settle her divorce case in a Syariah court. I've never been to any court before. My first impression, the court was too small. Well maybe it's because it a "low" court, not a high court. It was a public court so you get to hear everybody's case before you, not so loud and clear but you can still know what's going on. And surprisingly, you have to cover your aurat in the court. The court police will ask you to go out and cover yourself properly if you don't. What shocked me was most of the audience which consists of plaintiffs and defendants, and their supporters (family and friends) are YOUNG people. I seriously believe I was the eldest person in the court other than the judge at that time. I'm beginning to wonder what is the meaning of the marriage institution for the youngsters these days.  

N's case was the fifth one to be called. So I got to listen to four other cases. Of which the first one was read too softly for us to hear and the other was represented by a lawyer and again she spoke too soft for our nosy ears. The one that moved me was a divorce application of a very young couple  who seemed to be not more than 25 years of age. Without even a glance to each other they stood before the judge, answering him confidently. The guy read the divorce lafaz without hesitation, no quiver, no emotion. Me on the other was already in my tears (even not knowing who they are!). The ex-wife had a somewhat sad face. The next case was a fasakh application - an application to dissolve a marriage due specific reasons. The plaintiff, a lady, came alone. The judge asked, "so where is the defendant", she said - "at home, and he knew I was coming to the court today". The lady spoke softly only for the judge's ears the reason of the fasakh. It seemed that the couple was still staying together and obviously the husband refused to come to the court.  No wonder it takes ages for these cases to end.


N's case was called. They answered the judge accordingly and N's answers were more confidently said than her counterpart. Obviously she was more ready. Her husband (now ex) seemed a bit lost. As he said the lafaz, he was hesitant at first, and in tears. I was already in tears the minute N went stood in front of the judge! Ah.. so emotional! N cried too, but a cry of relief, and perhaps a bit of sadness over the love that is lost. But definitely I know she did not cry of losing the guy! After it was over, N's ex came to salam me with respect. I thanked him for taking care of N for the two years they were together.


That was it. Short, but earth shattering. Short but only the ones who had to go through it knew how painful it was. Two hearts became one, then broken into two again. Two paths met leading to one and suddenly one took a different route. Life is full of twist and turns. We can only plan, but only Allah knows best what's in store for us. 


I pray N will find another love. Or love will find her. She still love him, she said.. but I told her, it's not him that you love, it's the love that you had with him that you love. It's ok to hang on to the love, but not to him. And if she truly understands that only love to Allah is eternal, it will be easier for her to love another being again. I hope she will get up and love again.

2 comments:

Yusni MJ said...

Yup...that says it all..You need to be there for N because the next 3 months is going to be Hell on Earth..that was what I have experienced...

True...it is the love that you want and the feeling it gives and not the person....

Good Luck to N...insyAllah, love will find its way to a deserving heart. I truly believe...and living it as well...shhhh...

But for sure the second time around you'll be wiser and better because of the experience you have had....

Ironically, after my own share of similar experience, I strongly believe in marriage but like any relationship both parties must have respect towards each other, don't take each other for granted...

Let me know if she needs someone to talk to who has undergo the same experience...I will be glad to provide her the support...

Ask her to hang on because soon the storm will disappear and make way for a bright blue sky, insyAllah. Only time will heal a broken heart....

Today is much better than yesterday...

Mommy dearie said...

Thanks Yus. I think she is strong. Her marriage only lasted 2 years, no kids. It's great that you still believe in marriage. Yes I think it's part and parcel of life. Experience, especially bad ones, makes us wiser. Good ones makes us enjoy more of our short life!