I have always wanted to do something different in my life but I lacked the courage. And I always thought I'm different but the fact is .. I'm very much the same as anybody else. Last weekend I finally stepped beyond my normal life routine. Did something I thought I'd never do. Well.. could be nothing to some people but something to me.
The event... My sister and I rented a spot in a 3-day bazaar organised by a state mosque here. I had some home made cakes and my sister sell health product of which she is the distributor. We were really nervous about it since we have never done this before. I HAVE NEVER done this in my entire life! Not even during school or college where sometimes some students set up booth to sell something during any college event. Not me.. I was such a public freak (well, I do have my reasons!!)
The expectation ... really, I didn't know what to expect since it was my first time. I also did not think of the sales.. though I did hope for some returns. My "little" worry was the weather since the heat was rather unbearable for the past week. I worried whether I can survive the heat under the tent for 7-10 (or longer) hours a day. My main objective was to get the experience of selling... and to see if my so-called culinary skills can earn me some money.
The experience ... WOW! My first impression.. we were really the small fish there. We were competing with the "real business people". Other booths were occupied by seasoned sellers who had been selling their products for at least a year or so.. who had done this kind of sales numerous of times if not daily. They have all the "right" tools and peripherals to do the selling. I was slightly taken aback at first. Then again I thought, what do you expect, this is the real world. I was doing real sales, meeting real customers from all walk of life. I got a bit nervous then. Somehow my nervousness dissapear when we were greeted by other sellers.. they were SUPER friedly and helpful! My... was I pleasantly surprised. We got acquainted in no time. The booth on my left was selling all kind of dates and raisins, and their hot selling Halal coco drink - MOSHA, fresh in the market. They consists of a few humble young man, ready to help you anytime. My right neighbor is a gutsy friendly, talkative lady and her workers selling Muslim apparels. By the end of the first day, we got acquainted with almost all the sellers, around 20 of them. Though some may be our competitor, but the selling and teamwork spirit is amazing.
After 3 days .. I would say the experience was priceless. Forget the heat which thankfully was bearable because it was rather breezy! Socializing with people on the streets, sellers who are very determined in selling their products, as well as customers of whom you never know what to expect from them except that you hope they would buy from you. You get that exciting feeling when you see people approaching your items, and you tell them excitedly what they are all about. They came, the looked, tasted and looked again. If you are lucky, they buy... if not they just said thank you, smiled and walked away. And you.. took a seat again! Isn't that interesting?
The sales ... welll.. I didn't do so well in this one. Perhaps I did not do enough research on the crowd. You have to reach the right crowd. I was selling cakes in a mosque area. Perhaps a better place to sell cakes is in the mall or offices where the crowd would be more represented. Eh? People who go to mosque are mostly elderlies- who are not supposed to eat sweet things? 80% of my sales came from family and friends who came to visit us by invitation (yup, told thm I'm selling!) and the neighboring sellers who got hungry, or appetised by the cakes. I had leftovers at the end of each day which I would generously gave away to the "neighbors" or my family members. At the end of the 3 days.. I barely covered my costs. My friends thought I was selling the cakes way too low beyond the market price.. well it's true actually. ... I WAS just testing the water!
So that was my first step, hopefully towards something bigger. I will definitely keep on moving further if God wills. Except for the next time around, instead of jumping right into the sea, I will learn how to swim first!
Showing posts with label A new beginning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A new beginning. Show all posts
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
First month review
It's been slightly over a month since I last said goodbye to the working world and become SAHM - Stay At Home Mom. I've got friends who sometimes call or text me asking me how am I doing or what exactly I am doing now. Some thought that it's such a waste of talent (huh?) for me to quit, some thought that I'm holding the best position in the world, some even admired me for making such brave decision .. (err.. really? brave?)
Perhaps I should reflect my current situation just to make sure I AM doing the right decision and where I'm going after this. OK, let's roll..
What I've been doing so far:
- Concentrating on the kids like pay extra attention to their well-being, schooling, time management, language, etc, etc..
- Giving the kids lots more cuddles and kisses (this was rather limited before)
- Talk and listen to them more
- Thinking and thinking and researching of what can I do to generate some income rather than depending totally on my hubby - suddenly I have so many ideas but none tried yet
- Getting connected with old friends
- Trying to get rid of unnecessary stuff in my store room
- Baked cakes and bread, pudding and pie, and tried many new recipes. Trying to eliminate outside food altogether. Managed to bake brownies for my Chinese friends and neighbors instead of buying cookies for them like I normally did.
- Exercise daily - morning and evening
How am I doing/ feeling so far
- I feel great, not really ecstatic the whole time but simply great, cool and calm
- No regrets of quitting my job nor feeling like going back to work
- Gained "some" weight
What I have observed/think for the past one month
- 24 hours a day is simply not enough to do things... anything
- I have become more patient with the kids
- I think I'm getting old!
- I think a lot about things... about so many things that I've never thought before
- I'm a real good procastinator (if there's such word!)
- I'm an "underachiever" at work.. that's why I have to quit my job. Now I have to do something about it so that I don't quit my life as a SAHM!
- I have no desire to go back to work. That will be the last resort if we are financially tight. I will try other things first!
- I become very concious about my body (weight gain, exercise, hair!)
- I become very budget concious as well, trying to cut down on everything
- I am not bored at home.. in fact my time if filled every minute with things to attend to even though my maid is around
- I still think I'm not good enough a mother!
- My kids have become too clingy to me
- Eussuv's self confidence has improved with me at home. Being manja (without even realising it).. he needs me the most!
- Irsyad is worried that we will have no money for anything since I'm not working. Any trip to the shop is "membazir".. even grocery shopping!!!
What I will have to do next ..
- Be focused in whatever I want to do.
- Have a specific and clear goal of life for the rest of my life (oh sure I do have goals.. it's just that it keeps changing.. so I end up nowhere)
- Lebih rajin lagi melayan anak2! I took for granted the maid is around!
- Narrow down my thoughts only to the beneficial ones... like focus only on the necessary and within my capabilities.. I can't be doing everything simply because it looks simple and interesting enough
- Try to convince hubby to cut down the unnecessary luxuries .. this will be the hardest!
To me this first month is a lot of trials and errors on many things and testing my capabilities, my feelings ... it's like looking inside of me.. finding who I really am. It's rather scary really. Here I am, on the verge of the BIG four 0 suddenly finding so many bad things about myself and thinking, is there still time to change! But I will have to. My children are my life now. I will have to change for their future, they still have a long way to go.
So perhaps this first month review will not tell you anything yet. I shall reflect again next month.
Perhaps I should reflect my current situation just to make sure I AM doing the right decision and where I'm going after this. OK, let's roll..
What I've been doing so far:
- Concentrating on the kids like pay extra attention to their well-being, schooling, time management, language, etc, etc..
- Giving the kids lots more cuddles and kisses (this was rather limited before)
- Talk and listen to them more
- Thinking and thinking and researching of what can I do to generate some income rather than depending totally on my hubby - suddenly I have so many ideas but none tried yet
- Getting connected with old friends
- Trying to get rid of unnecessary stuff in my store room
- Baked cakes and bread, pudding and pie, and tried many new recipes. Trying to eliminate outside food altogether. Managed to bake brownies for my Chinese friends and neighbors instead of buying cookies for them like I normally did.
- Exercise daily - morning and evening
How am I doing/ feeling so far
- I feel great, not really ecstatic the whole time but simply great, cool and calm
- No regrets of quitting my job nor feeling like going back to work
- Gained "some" weight
What I have observed/think for the past one month
- 24 hours a day is simply not enough to do things... anything
- I have become more patient with the kids
- I think I'm getting old!
- I think a lot about things... about so many things that I've never thought before
- I'm a real good procastinator (if there's such word!)
- I'm an "underachiever" at work.. that's why I have to quit my job. Now I have to do something about it so that I don't quit my life as a SAHM!
- I have no desire to go back to work. That will be the last resort if we are financially tight. I will try other things first!
- I become very concious about my body (weight gain, exercise, hair!)
- I become very budget concious as well, trying to cut down on everything
- I am not bored at home.. in fact my time if filled every minute with things to attend to even though my maid is around
- I still think I'm not good enough a mother!
- My kids have become too clingy to me
- Eussuv's self confidence has improved with me at home. Being manja (without even realising it).. he needs me the most!
- Irsyad is worried that we will have no money for anything since I'm not working. Any trip to the shop is "membazir".. even grocery shopping!!!
What I will have to do next ..
- Be focused in whatever I want to do.
- Have a specific and clear goal of life for the rest of my life (oh sure I do have goals.. it's just that it keeps changing.. so I end up nowhere)
- Lebih rajin lagi melayan anak2! I took for granted the maid is around!
- Narrow down my thoughts only to the beneficial ones... like focus only on the necessary and within my capabilities.. I can't be doing everything simply because it looks simple and interesting enough
- Try to convince hubby to cut down the unnecessary luxuries .. this will be the hardest!
To me this first month is a lot of trials and errors on many things and testing my capabilities, my feelings ... it's like looking inside of me.. finding who I really am. It's rather scary really. Here I am, on the verge of the BIG four 0 suddenly finding so many bad things about myself and thinking, is there still time to change! But I will have to. My children are my life now. I will have to change for their future, they still have a long way to go.
So perhaps this first month review will not tell you anything yet. I shall reflect again next month.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
The overdue wake up calls
I had on overdue wake up call yesterday. It's like something that just hit me HARD!
I NEVER had a weight problem before and suddenly now I'm way too deep in it! Haha! Yeah I still couldn't believe I actually have a weight problem. Not that I'm boasting, but I have always been on the "small" size.. and I never care about my weight anyways.. But for the past two weeks or so, I can feel it.. I feel so heavy, sluggish, and worst, I can't fit into my jeans without having to squeeze my life into it. And yesterday, reality hit me when I saw the reading on the weight scale at my sister's place. I'm like 10kg way too heavy too my liking! Yup.. 10kg. Oh boy.. this is really not me.
Irsyad, - the vain one, also thinks that his mom is overweight and he gave me loads of "advice" on how to lose weight (this is what he heard from his Science teacher). His advice:
1) You must eat less rice, but lots of vege and fish
2) You must eat a lot of fruits
3) You must exercise, i.e. jogging.. or you can play badminton with us..
OK.. good advice. But he also said this.. "And mommy, I think you are a bit MALAS.. like malas to move about! You have to be rajin a bit. More active!" HUH??? Really? Heavy bum! This really hit me.. another wake up call. It really made me think A LOT. Sadly, it's rather true.
While still thinking about it I stumbled upon a very interesting health article about losing weight. The top two ways to lose weight - and really work - are portion control (eat less) and exercise (brisk walking particularly). But this will only show the results in 2-3 months depending on how committed you are. Seems easy enough but not so easy to stick to it if you don't have the strongwill. I strongly believe in these two methods as I have seen a living example who has transformed from a shy ands cute (ugly but adorable) duckling to a elegant and glamorous duckling - with lots of self-confidence! No kidding.
So other than trying to make money on-line, losing weight will be my other resolution for this year. Since yesterday, I rationed my meal intake, and start my exercise session, morning and late afternoon. And most importantly, try not to be MALAS! Hopefully my efforts will bear some fruits .. say, in the next 2 months or so?
I NEVER had a weight problem before and suddenly now I'm way too deep in it! Haha! Yeah I still couldn't believe I actually have a weight problem. Not that I'm boasting, but I have always been on the "small" size.. and I never care about my weight anyways.. But for the past two weeks or so, I can feel it.. I feel so heavy, sluggish, and worst, I can't fit into my jeans without having to squeeze my life into it. And yesterday, reality hit me when I saw the reading on the weight scale at my sister's place. I'm like 10kg way too heavy too my liking! Yup.. 10kg. Oh boy.. this is really not me.
Irsyad, - the vain one, also thinks that his mom is overweight and he gave me loads of "advice" on how to lose weight (this is what he heard from his Science teacher). His advice:
1) You must eat less rice, but lots of vege and fish
2) You must eat a lot of fruits
3) You must exercise, i.e. jogging.. or you can play badminton with us..
OK.. good advice. But he also said this.. "And mommy, I think you are a bit MALAS.. like malas to move about! You have to be rajin a bit. More active!" HUH??? Really? Heavy bum! This really hit me.. another wake up call. It really made me think A LOT. Sadly, it's rather true.
While still thinking about it I stumbled upon a very interesting health article about losing weight. The top two ways to lose weight - and really work - are portion control (eat less) and exercise (brisk walking particularly). But this will only show the results in 2-3 months depending on how committed you are. Seems easy enough but not so easy to stick to it if you don't have the strongwill. I strongly believe in these two methods as I have seen a living example who has transformed from a shy ands cute (ugly but adorable) duckling to a elegant and glamorous duckling - with lots of self-confidence! No kidding.
So other than trying to make money on-line, losing weight will be my other resolution for this year. Since yesterday, I rationed my meal intake, and start my exercise session, morning and late afternoon. And most importantly, try not to be MALAS! Hopefully my efforts will bear some fruits .. say, in the next 2 months or so?
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Day 1 great challenge
It was a CHALLENGING day 1 of school. Not to so much to the kids.. but to me. And Omar was the star of the day. It was a hectic and chaotic day. Every year, I normally send the kids to school on the first day of school just to know where their classes and who their teachers are. After that they will follow the school transport. This year is the same with additional chaos. Maybe trivial to other people.. but not to me because it added some unnecessary stress.
Chaos number 1 caused by the kittens who decided to camp in the car tyres and jumped onto the engine when I started the car in the morning to send the boys to school. We then couldn't locate the kitten. Fearing the kitten's life, we had to drive the other car. Because of this, we were 10 minutes late than our original time. Luckily the boys were still on time for schools. They are both on different session of schools. One goes to the sekolah kebangsaan and the other sekolah agama in the morning and vice versa in the afternoon. Fortunately also, Syasya only started school on Tuesday.
What happened the rest of the day were a few more trips back and forth to school for sending and fetchig the older boys. It was actually another 5 trips including their tuition in the evening and enrolling Syasya into a piano class. In all five trips, Omar kicked up such irritating fuss before and during the trip!! He would make a fuss on what to wear, what to bring, didn't want to be hold in the crowded school and busy road, and so on. I simply couldn't just picked up the car keys and go. Worst was I couldn't leave him behind. Even at home, he trotted like a puppy behind me.. ALL THE TIME. He only wanted me to bathe, feed and wash him. Just ME!! The minute he lost sight of me, he would screamed like mad! He was never as clingy as this before. I was really up to my neck with him yesterday. I was seething!! And his brothers and sister also noticed this "weird" behavior of his. Thank God I have prepared everything for school and no major disaster in that area.
Perhaps it's payback time.. for leaving him with the maid all the this while? Perhaps the other kids would react the same if I would have retired earlier when they were Omar's age. Maybe.
It's better today since I made only one trip that is to Syasya's school in the morning while Omar is still in bed. The kids seemed to be happy enough so far with me around, of course. As for me, though tired and irritated (with Omar!), I felt calm inside. No other stress. The feeling of not having to go out to work is simply wonderful. I hope it will remain so. Though a bit chaotic in the beginning, I am very sure and I feel good after all. And I'm ready to face all other challenges. THIS is the REAL challenge!
Chaos number 1 caused by the kittens who decided to camp in the car tyres and jumped onto the engine when I started the car in the morning to send the boys to school. We then couldn't locate the kitten. Fearing the kitten's life, we had to drive the other car. Because of this, we were 10 minutes late than our original time. Luckily the boys were still on time for schools. They are both on different session of schools. One goes to the sekolah kebangsaan and the other sekolah agama in the morning and vice versa in the afternoon. Fortunately also, Syasya only started school on Tuesday.
What happened the rest of the day were a few more trips back and forth to school for sending and fetchig the older boys. It was actually another 5 trips including their tuition in the evening and enrolling Syasya into a piano class. In all five trips, Omar kicked up such irritating fuss before and during the trip!! He would make a fuss on what to wear, what to bring, didn't want to be hold in the crowded school and busy road, and so on. I simply couldn't just picked up the car keys and go. Worst was I couldn't leave him behind. Even at home, he trotted like a puppy behind me.. ALL THE TIME. He only wanted me to bathe, feed and wash him. Just ME!! The minute he lost sight of me, he would screamed like mad! He was never as clingy as this before. I was really up to my neck with him yesterday. I was seething!! And his brothers and sister also noticed this "weird" behavior of his. Thank God I have prepared everything for school and no major disaster in that area.
Perhaps it's payback time.. for leaving him with the maid all the this while? Perhaps the other kids would react the same if I would have retired earlier when they were Omar's age. Maybe.
It's better today since I made only one trip that is to Syasya's school in the morning while Omar is still in bed. The kids seemed to be happy enough so far with me around, of course. As for me, though tired and irritated (with Omar!), I felt calm inside. No other stress. The feeling of not having to go out to work is simply wonderful. I hope it will remain so. Though a bit chaotic in the beginning, I am very sure and I feel good after all. And I'm ready to face all other challenges. THIS is the REAL challenge!
Monday, January 5, 2009
A new start
Happy New Year 2009 to everyone .. hope it's not too late for me to wish as it's already on the fifth day of the new year. Today is basically the first day of my "new" job at home. I consider the last week at home was my break. So today I shall start fresh though I have yet to work out my schedule. The kids's schedule is rather fixed with schools and all, so I guess mine would make its way around theirs.
I have been extremely busy preparing the kids for their school. Their uniforms, books, fees and everything. Also trying to fill their time on the very last week of school with things they did not get to do while I was working like morning walks, going to cousins' houses, window shopping, watching movies, etc, etc. The list seemed to be endless. Not to mentioned the cousins they had over at our house. I was a host to endless visits of my nieces and nephews (ages between 8 onwards) almost the whole of December! It was tiring really but the kids were a happy bunch having their cousins around to play with and entertaining them.
Had a very quiet moment this morning after the boys went to school and the other two still in bed. Syasya will only start her school tomorrow.
Perhaps I can think of something to do ... profitable one.. once my routine is established. Providing that I'm focused and motivated of course!!
I have been extremely busy preparing the kids for their school. Their uniforms, books, fees and everything. Also trying to fill their time on the very last week of school with things they did not get to do while I was working like morning walks, going to cousins' houses, window shopping, watching movies, etc, etc. The list seemed to be endless. Not to mentioned the cousins they had over at our house. I was a host to endless visits of my nieces and nephews (ages between 8 onwards) almost the whole of December! It was tiring really but the kids were a happy bunch having their cousins around to play with and entertaining them.
Had a very quiet moment this morning after the boys went to school and the other two still in bed. Syasya will only start her school tomorrow.
Perhaps I can think of something to do ... profitable one.. once my routine is established. Providing that I'm focused and motivated of course!!
Monday, December 29, 2008
My Hijrah
"Hijrah" means migrate. Maal Hijrah is the new year in Islamic calendar. 29th December 2008 is the first day of the Hijriah year 1430 or 1st of Muharram (the first month of the Islamic year). I will not go deeper into the history in fear of misleading or wrong facts. But Hijrah usually mean migrating from one phase of life to another.. well.. kindof if you read the actual meaning from the history. So let's take it from there. It's a new year, a new beginning.
Apparently, this year is definitely a GREAT hijrah for me. It is a great sacrifice on my part to let go what has been with me for the past 15 years. And a great change of life routine altogether. I myself couldn't believe it! But it is real and it's already happening. And to face these changes, I have to make a lot of changes in:-
1) the way I think
2) the way I do things
3) the way I spend my time, money, energy
4) the way I dress... oh yeah.. I fear for this one as I tend to get really sloppy and sluggish if I'm not dressed for office (this is very wrong.. and worrying!)
I've made some researches and get my mental ready for the changes. But being me, not a very well-planned person.. even with all the info I have, it kinda get stuck in my head just for a while. The tendency to just pass by it is just enormous!
So, to actually overcome this, perhaps I need to list down all the things that I need to do, big goals, small goals, deadlines and all the works. I have it all in my head but when it comes to writing it down.. and actually doing it.. it may take ages. That's me allright!
Perhaps.. I should start now. OK. Goal number one : List down all my goals and target by end of this week. Too ambitious? We'll see.
And now.. my hijrah begins ..
Apparently, this year is definitely a GREAT hijrah for me. It is a great sacrifice on my part to let go what has been with me for the past 15 years. And a great change of life routine altogether. I myself couldn't believe it! But it is real and it's already happening. And to face these changes, I have to make a lot of changes in:-
1) the way I think
2) the way I do things
3) the way I spend my time, money, energy
4) the way I dress... oh yeah.. I fear for this one as I tend to get really sloppy and sluggish if I'm not dressed for office (this is very wrong.. and worrying!)
I've made some researches and get my mental ready for the changes. But being me, not a very well-planned person.. even with all the info I have, it kinda get stuck in my head just for a while. The tendency to just pass by it is just enormous!
So, to actually overcome this, perhaps I need to list down all the things that I need to do, big goals, small goals, deadlines and all the works. I have it all in my head but when it comes to writing it down.. and actually doing it.. it may take ages. That's me allright!
Perhaps.. I should start now. OK. Goal number one : List down all my goals and target by end of this week. Too ambitious? We'll see.
And now.. my hijrah begins ..
Friday, December 26, 2008
Top of the world
I'm now officially a stay-at-home mom. This morning I walked my last steps out of the office. Said good-byes to whoever in the office (very few of them since they are mostly on leave), took the last few of my belongings and returned my laptop. Trying to paint the last moments in my head with good final pictures. A bit sad to leave the familiar faces, to face a new beginning.
But as I made my exit, I felt relieved, free, happy.. and a little bit nervous. But the sense of freedom buried my nervousness.
Went to a malll nearby the office to get something with a smile on my face and light shoulder. Had lunch with the kids at home. Just had my afternoon nap with my baby (well .. still a baby at 2.5 years old) and will bring him out for a walk after this. What a nice afternoon to start with.
I'm feeling on top of the world!
But as I made my exit, I felt relieved, free, happy.. and a little bit nervous. But the sense of freedom buried my nervousness.
Went to a malll nearby the office to get something with a smile on my face and light shoulder. Had lunch with the kids at home. Just had my afternoon nap with my baby (well .. still a baby at 2.5 years old) and will bring him out for a walk after this. What a nice afternoon to start with.
I'm feeling on top of the world!
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