Stressed mom..

I read a few articles on raising happy kids. I even bought a book on this. The reason being? At one point of time (ok.. even now) I was so stressed taking care of them that I shout at them a lot. And I know the results of me shouting at them - they will follow suit, shouting at each other, or at me. Also I'm creating an unhealthy environment for them to live in, as in they might become "depressed" children, then it will effect their childhood, their development as a baby to toddler to kids then to teenager. It may definitely develop their character! All these made me shrink with fear. True enough, what I fear is definitely listed in the books and articles. Yeah, as if I don't know the effect of shouting at kids to begin with.. it's just that, you know when you are angry, the anger just enveloped you and you just forget about everything else and voila.. you are on top of your lungs. And when it's over, you feel like banging your head on the wall with guilt on what you have done. But then again it's too late.. the damage is done. This happened over and over again that I'm afraid now that it already has set some characters in them. Though I believe it's not too late to change.

Perhaps I should go some counselling session?? I may have all the love in the world, but i think I lack the patience... very much lacking in that!

But somehow.. apart from the "shouting sessions", according to the articles, I'm doing quite well in raising happy kids. Hmmmhh... I do have all the "5 languages of love" applied to my kids. What are these 5 languages of love? Don't have it now in my head but it's one of those things that you should have to raise happy kids. Might post it here one of these days. And are my kids happy kids? Yeah .. at some level. Then again, what's the definition of happy kids?

The "my-kids-are-better-than-yours" syndrome

Have you met anybody with the above syndrome. I'm sure you have in many encounters with other parents. Me being a working mother seldom had the opportunity to talk to other parents, well at least not regularly. I only had the chance to meet other parents during parent-teacher day at aschool or any other occassions where I had to go to school and got to meet other parents. Thus these encounters are usually short ones.

However recently I sent my 2 elder boys for tuition and I got to meet other parents quite regularly while sending or fetching them to and from the tuition class. I had nothing against this lady really, we got along fine. I sometimes enjoyed her company. The only problem I had is this syndrome. It's always her son's school is better.. what she did for her son is better, SHE knows better how to educate the kids (since she was an ex-teacher) and so on. Oh pleassseee...

OK.. I'm not supposed to say bad things about other people in my postings really. But this syndrome bothers me. As though I'm not doing a good job as a parent.

To me there's no "best" way of being a parent. It is something acquired, you learn it day by day. It is on the job training. Of course there are guides and tips, but every family is unique. Every problem is handled case per case basis. It may be applicable to one but maybe not to another.

I for one never think what I do is the best as a parent. Or my kids are the brilliant ones, the most behaved ones, or the most beautiful ones. Of course they are, in my eyes. But I would never put down other people kids to show that my kids are the best.

Every parent has their own ways of raising their kids. They would do anything for their kids (well at least I hope so, though there are some took advantage of their own kids) ... but you don't have to put down other kids for the best of your kids.. !!