Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Life's choices

Life is about choices. You choose how your life's gonna be. When the ball is in your court, it is your choice what to do with it. I have made a very important decision of my life today. Something that I've been thinking about for the past year. It is not one easy decision to make but with the support of my loved one, I have finally taken the step. I also have support from the people around me.

I have chosen to get out of my 9-5 job. Alhamdulillah. I have finally say it out loud and so sure about it. I have problems making decisions, about choosing the many choices in front of me.. but this one comes almost naturally to me. Something that I want to do for so long. What happens after this? That's for me to find out. At least I've taken a step further, no longer in my comfort zone.

I've told some people about it today got a few responses.. two of them being "you are rich, so you can afford not working!".. huh? Me, rich? It's all about money these days isn't it! Having being through many rough patches in life, especially where finance is involved, I know what it's like not having money. But as I advanced through life, with still some financial hiccups, I believe life is not all about money. The myth is, you'll be happier if you have more money. The truth is, it is your choice to be happy, money or no money.

The reason I took this step is so that I can spend more time with my family. To raise "a batch of kids" who obviously lack parental attention! I have come to a point where I am neither here nor there. In juggling time between work and family, I have become such a monster to my kids and my career is not advancing any further (though the money is good). I believe I am only capable of handling one. So obviously, and of course, I choose my family. I love my kids dearly, I wouldn't trade them with any money in the world. After all I am the one (and my other half!) who brought them into this world anyway! So I better do a good job on raising them.

So what choice have you made today?

Friday, May 16, 2008

The "my-kids-are-better-than-yours" syndrome

Have you met anybody with the above syndrome. I'm sure you have in many encounters with other parents. Me being a working mother seldom had the opportunity to talk to other parents, well at least not regularly. I only had the chance to meet other parents during parent-teacher day at aschool or any other occassions where I had to go to school and got to meet other parents. Thus these encounters are usually short ones.

However recently I sent my 2 elder boys for tuition and I got to meet other parents quite regularly while sending or fetching them to and from the tuition class. I had nothing against this lady really, we got along fine. I sometimes enjoyed her company. The only problem I had is this syndrome. It's always her son's school is better.. what she did for her son is better, SHE knows better how to educate the kids (since she was an ex-teacher) and so on. Oh pleassseee...

OK.. I'm not supposed to say bad things about other people in my postings really. But this syndrome bothers me. As though I'm not doing a good job as a parent.

To me there's no "best" way of being a parent. It is something acquired, you learn it day by day. It is on the job training. Of course there are guides and tips, but every family is unique. Every problem is handled case per case basis. It may be applicable to one but maybe not to another.

I for one never think what I do is the best as a parent. Or my kids are the brilliant ones, the most behaved ones, or the most beautiful ones. Of course they are, in my eyes. But I would never put down other people kids to show that my kids are the best.

Every parent has their own ways of raising their kids. They would do anything for their kids (well at least I hope so, though there are some took advantage of their own kids) ... but you don't have to put down other kids for the best of your kids.. !!

..of Exams ...

It is exam week for the kids ... and guess who's the most stressed person in the household? Yours truly. As though I am the one who's taking exams!! What's with the kids these days? In "my time", my parents never knew what I learnt at school, what they know is that I must get good results. And how did I do it? I don't know. HAHA! I just passed.

These days, they need to be handheld.. they need to be "guided" through their books. Or is it just me being overly concerned? I checked their exam schedule. I checked (READ) their books, all of it - text, workbooks and note books. I made sure they cover all units that they have learned. How stressful is that? More stressed when they don't understand a thing what they wrote or how they got the answers that way!! HAH!!

Oh well.. maybe I'm being too concerned. They should be trained to be independent, just like I was before. But hey, these days there are too many "contributing factors" to why are easily strayed away from their books.. such as :
1) ASTRO - channel 600s
2) PS2
3) PSP..
4) Ben10
5) Marbles..
7) Computers -- Internet
7) everything else that they can turn into toys.. (yup even Handyplast has become a "toy" in my household!!)

HOW am I going to make them sit down and do their work at least (at least!!) for half an hour without any interruption? FAT chance. And worst... the little mischief brother (obviously not having any exam of his life...) will come by and pull big brother for another session of "iyyahhhh... iyahhhhh... DUSH"!!!

I saw an article in my mailbox today - "How to raise happy kids".. interesting.. yet to read. Scared to read cos I think I've created "less happy kids" (I was gonna say monsters... hahah) by controlling them too much of their childhood. It scared me to think that I have limited to their freedom as kids, then again I am more scared to "leave" them to create their own future i.e... not studying and all, do whatever they want.

And really how old are all of them?? Irsyad is going to be 10 in July, Esssuv going to be 8 in October, Syasya 5 in October, and Ryan Omar 2 in July. Me over-reacting about their exams? Don't think so.. one has to start early. A strong foundation will build a solid and sustainable structure. HUH?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

... and the journey begins .

I consider writing this blog as a beginning of another journey for me as I have just added another "picture" in my life. It is also a very important one in my life as this is part of my steps towards realising one of my many dreams. Oh yeah... writing a blog? Part of a dream? Hmmhh.. well... I have this dream of being a writer. Yet I put this off for many many lame excuses like, no time, no platform to write on, no ideas, ... and so on. Yes, one of my many dreams is to be a writer. Not that I'm a good writer but I like to write.. as much as I like to talk. However I do find that I express myself better in writing. So here I am, writing this blog. Why again?

1) It will be a platform for me to practise my writing (hoping that someday I will become a star writer ..tsk..tsk.)
2) To pour my heart out whenever I need to (most likely very often..)
3) To share with people out there what I do most (not best)... being a mom to my kids - having said that this will be the main focus of this blog
4) To get tips on how to "control" myself from being a MEAN mom, how to be a "super"mom (possible??), any kinds of tips that I can get for any of the topics I shall be posting.
5) To build up some fun mothering networking...
6) And for ALL other reasons in the world.. I can go on and on..

Oh well... so let's get down to business.

I am so glad I've written this far.. there'll be no more mushy ta ta te te after this...

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

A mom's life

I've been wanting to do this for so long but never get to go around it. Today, with all my heart, I had to steal some time, proudly presenting a journal of my life as a mom of 4. What I hope to achieve is some sharing of info on what being a mom is all about. It's not just about kids, about housework, but about life in general.

Llife is not about how to survive the storm.. it is about how to dance in the rain..

Enjoy life as it is as you never know what's coming ahead of you...