I celebrated my birthday a week ago. Let the number be my little secret... not that any of you didn't know anyway, but maybe for strangers reading this entry. Anyways, I always like to think that I'm 25. Hardy har har! Why? Because I think I like being 25. And also maybe I like my life best when I was 25.. when I was just myself. Me. I was not a wife who has listen to a hubby (obediently), I was not a mother who worries about her children or who yells a lot, I was not a housewife who's on duty 7 days a week, 24x7. I was just me. Me who goes anywhere I like with my red ramshackle car (as my sister put it!), me who's not worried about going home from work at 3am and go back again at 8am (only during peak project period ok!), me who gets excited on Fridays and starts planning for the weekend with great friends, and also me who didn't really care if I have only RM10 left a few days before payday because I will just eat at home and ask (shamelessly) for another RM10/day from my dear brother who I was staying with. And frankly, I miss that 'me'. Years and years had passed and for sure I can never go back. I can't even re-live the situation. Too much had changed, for better or worse. But I'm sure I'll be bored to death had my life stayed they way it was when I was 25. So what I can do now is just go back the memory lanes and dream!! Good enough to make me float for a while before the reality hits and brings me down again. Oh well!
Somehow as age is catching up, I can feel life is getting tougher and it teaches me to be stronger and wiser (hopefully). I tend to view life differently and I somehow glad for all the things that happened to me since I was 25, be it good or bad. The life happenings shape you to what you are and how you think today.
My wish for this year , and I think this will be my priority wish every year, is that I wish for another birthday next year in a healthy condition.... not necessarily wealthy but enough to get by. And another one and another one. May Allah hears me out! And how thankful I am to be able to write about my birthday this year and pray I will still be here writing, next year.