I went to a pasar malam for some food to break my fast yesterday evening. I stopped by at this stall selling all kinds of rice by a couple who has 3 kids. These kids are between 1-5 years old. How did I know? I asked! Why did I bother? Because they were all there playing around happily under the evening sun, AND around a deep frying pan drizzling with fried chicken in it!!!! Woahhh.. ! I was so scared of them that I watched them all the time I was there! I was so scared if any one of them especially the one-year-old tripped over the pan, GOSH!! And the parents were so busy with the customers.. but once in a while they would call out for the kids to "behave". At one point the two older kids sat on a stool (adult size) with their legs hanging down, then the little sister also wanted to do the same. Again, I was on the brink of saying.. no.. don't put her on it.. she's too small to be on the stool and can easily fall down. But upon her whining, her father scooped her and put her on the stool. And true enough, just a few minutes she just simply jumped from the stool, and fell down on the tarred road. And amazingly.. she DID NOT cry. I made a remark to the mother of how tough her little girl was. And the mother replied, yeah she's very tough.. and very active! After that the father scooped her again, this time onto a stroller.. phewhhh.. what a relief.. away from the frying pan!
The whole time then I was thinking, this is one tough family, a rather young couple with 3 small kids, selling rice to make their living and raising the kids. These kids are tough kids, they basically spend their time not in a comfort of a house but under the sun and the moon, or maybe in their parents' van. They are oh so exposed to lots of things, dangerous things like the frying pan (THIS really give me a loud and fast heartbeat!!), strangers in the market, god knows what in the drain near the stall, and possibly virus in the air! There is no comfort of a bed for their afternoon nap, no cooling fan, no freshing up since late evening to nite, and toilet... where is the toilet in pasar malams?? And what time is their bed time if their parents are there until maybe 10pm? And yet.. these kids survived and they are the tough ones. And their parents are tough parents too! To have the heart bringing the kids, and exposing them to all sort of things.. just to make ends meet! I pray that nothing bad will happen to them and wish they will have better lives (then again who am I to judge whether they have a bad life!!)
When I see and think of all these, I tend to feel so lucky for myself and my children. To have all the comfort of life and to be able to raise my kids not in the "hard" environment. And making sure they have the best of things. I really hope that my kids would be able to appreciate the comfort that we've given them without complaining so much. I hope someday they would understand the pain, the hardship that other kids go through.
Perhaps one way to teach them to be more appreciative is by showing them the hardship experienced by other people, or let them feel what it's like for a while or so (send them out on the streets??).
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
My baby is 10!
Irsyad turned 10 last week. I couldn't believe it! He is one BIG boy.. he was our first joy (now we have 4 joys). I can still remember the day I delivered him. I believe everybody has "a sentimental" feeling for their firstborn. He/she is the first of everything that you do as a parent. In fact I think it's not too much to say that the firstborn is the most previleged but very experimental. He gets all new things, he has the most pictures in your album, he gets the most of your attention as a baby, and naturally you practise perfection following all the guides in the book as you are still learning as a parent. And as a result, firstborn normally would be a perfectionist.
As in the case of my firstborn, he is everything of a firstborn that I described above. We want the best for him when he was a baby, we try everything on the book on him. And the results is very encouraging. He is one "good" son - very proper, follow "the rules" accordingly, mature, well liked by friends, doing well in his academics (very competitive too!), as well as VAIN!! And this is one case of perfection I have to mention. This VAIN thing is sometimes killing me. He would change his t-shirt if there's one drop of drinks or whatever that stained his t-shirt .. no matter how small, or it's just plain water. He would arrange his bookshelf nicely and neatly all the time (even if it means messing up other ppl's bookshelf!). He will not wear pyjamas out of the house. He will make sure his hair is nicely combed, his shoes is shiny, and his bag is clean - before going to school. Everything must be in order and perfect. Even though all these are good practise, sometimes it just drives me nuts!!!
As opposed to 8 year-old Eussuv who is the total opposite, he couldn't care less about anything as long as he gets to play whatever he wants to play. And he doesn't even care if the whole t-shirt that he's wearing is stained to the max! This one is a result of us the parents kinda know what being a parent is like after having the first one. So you kinda relax a bit on "the rules". It is proven that the kind of parents you are really shape your children's character.
Back to my firstborn, I hope he will be the exemplary lead to his siblings as he already is now. And my wish for him that he becomes the soleh son and the successful one, both in the world and akhirat. Amin.
As in the case of my firstborn, he is everything of a firstborn that I described above. We want the best for him when he was a baby, we try everything on the book on him. And the results is very encouraging. He is one "good" son - very proper, follow "the rules" accordingly, mature, well liked by friends, doing well in his academics (very competitive too!), as well as VAIN!! And this is one case of perfection I have to mention. This VAIN thing is sometimes killing me. He would change his t-shirt if there's one drop of drinks or whatever that stained his t-shirt .. no matter how small, or it's just plain water. He would arrange his bookshelf nicely and neatly all the time (even if it means messing up other ppl's bookshelf!). He will not wear pyjamas out of the house. He will make sure his hair is nicely combed, his shoes is shiny, and his bag is clean - before going to school. Everything must be in order and perfect. Even though all these are good practise, sometimes it just drives me nuts!!!
As opposed to 8 year-old Eussuv who is the total opposite, he couldn't care less about anything as long as he gets to play whatever he wants to play. And he doesn't even care if the whole t-shirt that he's wearing is stained to the max! This one is a result of us the parents kinda know what being a parent is like after having the first one. So you kinda relax a bit on "the rules". It is proven that the kind of parents you are really shape your children's character.
Back to my firstborn, I hope he will be the exemplary lead to his siblings as he already is now. And my wish for him that he becomes the soleh son and the successful one, both in the world and akhirat. Amin.
Stressed mom..
I read a few articles on raising happy kids. I even bought a book on this. The reason being? At one point of time (ok.. even now) I was so stressed taking care of them that I shout at them a lot. And I know the results of me shouting at them - they will follow suit, shouting at each other, or at me. Also I'm creating an unhealthy environment for them to live in, as in they might become "depressed" children, then it will effect their childhood, their development as a baby to toddler to kids then to teenager. It may definitely develop their character! All these made me shrink with fear. True enough, what I fear is definitely listed in the books and articles. Yeah, as if I don't know the effect of shouting at kids to begin with.. it's just that, you know when you are angry, the anger just enveloped you and you just forget about everything else and voila.. you are on top of your lungs. And when it's over, you feel like banging your head on the wall with guilt on what you have done. But then again it's too late.. the damage is done. This happened over and over again that I'm afraid now that it already has set some characters in them. Though I believe it's not too late to change.
Perhaps I should go some counselling session?? I may have all the love in the world, but i think I lack the patience... very much lacking in that!
But somehow.. apart from the "shouting sessions", according to the articles, I'm doing quite well in raising happy kids. Hmmmhh... I do have all the "5 languages of love" applied to my kids. What are these 5 languages of love? Don't have it now in my head but it's one of those things that you should have to raise happy kids. Might post it here one of these days. And are my kids happy kids? Yeah .. at some level. Then again, what's the definition of happy kids?
Perhaps I should go some counselling session?? I may have all the love in the world, but i think I lack the patience... very much lacking in that!
But somehow.. apart from the "shouting sessions", according to the articles, I'm doing quite well in raising happy kids. Hmmmhh... I do have all the "5 languages of love" applied to my kids. What are these 5 languages of love? Don't have it now in my head but it's one of those things that you should have to raise happy kids. Might post it here one of these days. And are my kids happy kids? Yeah .. at some level. Then again, what's the definition of happy kids?
Friday, July 25, 2008
What does it take to be a parent?
I remember asking my sister how do I take care of my baby if I have one (I have none at that moment). And this is what she said "easy, if he's wet you change him, if he's hungry you feed him, and if he's sleepy, you put him to sleep". Oh.. it's as simple as that? Yeahhhh.. it's as simple as that PLUS millions of other things....
And even now, after having 4 kids, I still ask myself, what does it take to be a parent because most of the time I think I'm not good enough as a parent. So this is what I came up with based on my experience:
1) Love - LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of love ... and you have to show them, shower them with love. It's not material things, it's not money.. it's just feelings.. and these feelings must be shown. Research and statistics have shown that children who grew up surrounded by love are better persons, more sucessful in life and have greater self confidence.
Believe me, there are people who have children but never loved them under some circumstances!
2) Patience - Kids are god's greatest gifts and challenge. With them you feel the joy, at the same time you have to endure some pain . As such you must be strong and patient to face whatever coming your way from them. When they are babies and toddlers, you have to endure their tantrums and sleepless nights, and when they are teenagers you have to deal with their unpredictable behaviors in searching their true identity, and when they are adults, you have to be diplomatic enough to treat them as another adult knowing that they were once babies! And all throughout their phases of life, you have to be there. It is a long joyous and meaningful journey, with some pain here and there no doubt! And this really require lots and lots of patience.
These are the 2 most important ones that I can think of. The rest I believe would come naturally becos LOVE would conquer all. You would do research of their sickness, you would find out about about their medications (and remembering the medication names and purpose). You will buy parenting books, you will want to cook for them.. and do and learn everything else in the world in relation to children. With the feeling of love of your children, you will do anything for them. You will change to a better person insyaAllah.
There are many guides and tips on being a parent, how to treat your kids, how to educate them, how feed them, even how to potty train them. But at the end of the day, it's all about how YOU do it. Each child is unique thus some tips may and may not work for them. Only you can decide what's best to raise your children depending in your environment.
There's no right or wrong parent, they are just different parents.
So what does it take to be a parent, just be yourself with lotsa love to give away!
And even now, after having 4 kids, I still ask myself, what does it take to be a parent because most of the time I think I'm not good enough as a parent. So this is what I came up with based on my experience:
1) Love - LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of love ... and you have to show them, shower them with love. It's not material things, it's not money.. it's just feelings.. and these feelings must be shown. Research and statistics have shown that children who grew up surrounded by love are better persons, more sucessful in life and have greater self confidence.
Believe me, there are people who have children but never loved them under some circumstances!
2) Patience - Kids are god's greatest gifts and challenge. With them you feel the joy, at the same time you have to endure some pain . As such you must be strong and patient to face whatever coming your way from them. When they are babies and toddlers, you have to endure their tantrums and sleepless nights, and when they are teenagers you have to deal with their unpredictable behaviors in searching their true identity, and when they are adults, you have to be diplomatic enough to treat them as another adult knowing that they were once babies! And all throughout their phases of life, you have to be there. It is a long joyous and meaningful journey, with some pain here and there no doubt! And this really require lots and lots of patience.
These are the 2 most important ones that I can think of. The rest I believe would come naturally becos LOVE would conquer all. You would do research of their sickness, you would find out about about their medications (and remembering the medication names and purpose). You will buy parenting books, you will want to cook for them.. and do and learn everything else in the world in relation to children. With the feeling of love of your children, you will do anything for them. You will change to a better person insyaAllah.
There are many guides and tips on being a parent, how to treat your kids, how to educate them, how feed them, even how to potty train them. But at the end of the day, it's all about how YOU do it. Each child is unique thus some tips may and may not work for them. Only you can decide what's best to raise your children depending in your environment.
There's no right or wrong parent, they are just different parents.
So what does it take to be a parent, just be yourself with lotsa love to give away!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Passion (an entry with no passion)
Blogging could be a passion. If it's a passion, you don't even have to try hard to think of what to write. Some write beautifully and you just want to read on and on. Some thinks they write real good stuff and keep on writing (even though the truth is, what they write is crap!), and some just write because they just want to write. Just like me.
Ever since I declare that I love to write and start writing, I feel like, hey I can't write at all!! I keep comparing my writing with other people. And I think I'm one of those who write craps!! And not even good at it. Well maybe not so crap, just boring stuff.
Where has all the passion gone? Perhaps I need some boost... boost of writing, boost of morale, boost of ego.. and all sorts ...
Oh well... WHO CARES anyways!!
ps: I must be in one of those moods.. I'm starting to write real crap!
Ever since I declare that I love to write and start writing, I feel like, hey I can't write at all!! I keep comparing my writing with other people. And I think I'm one of those who write craps!! And not even good at it. Well maybe not so crap, just boring stuff.
Where has all the passion gone? Perhaps I need some boost... boost of writing, boost of morale, boost of ego.. and all sorts ...
Oh well... WHO CARES anyways!!
ps: I must be in one of those moods.. I'm starting to write real crap!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Malaysian Style...
How time flies.. I haven't been writing for a week. I thought I'd take a break.. but I got carried away with office work. And my, a few things has happened within a week. Oh nothing major, just little things that made you more aware of things that are happening all around you.
I learnt a few things or two about the internet. First, I would say the internet age population in Malaysia is between 20-30. This I found out from some of the websites that I visited and registered myself in. Why I made that assumption? The language the used. You can sort of tell the age from the language that they used. The youngsters like to use the "hype" language.. the happening ones, more of slang rather than actual language, be it Malay or English. As opposed to the "elderly" (in the category of 35 and above) who would use a lot more proper language. That's my observation and assumption .. you are more than welcome to comment. And then of course, if they don't know if you are Malay, it's OK to communicate in English.. but once they know you are just another Malay, woaaaaa the language and the tone would change drastically. As if it's a BIG sin to speak English to another Malay. THIS, is beyond me!! I just don't understand!!!
Most of the websites/ blogs are also by the youngsters.. perhaps the internet is the IN thing these days and part of their entertainment. There's good and bad in it of course. I for one encouraged my kids to be part of the Internet community, to get the better part of the technology revolution. Then again I monitor strictly the hours they are on the Net. I don't want them to be computer geeks! They are too young to be losing their time just to the Net. I would prefer them to enjoy their childhood in the nature i.e have fun in the park, play footbal, cycling, camping etc. And thank God up to now, they prefer the nature!
I was also surprised to see the non-existence of a local parenting portal. I've been subscribing to a number of US or UK based websites on parenting. So I looked for a similar website that is locally hosted and perhaps with some local tips on parenting applicable to Asian and Muslim. There's none! I'm quite surprised. Maybe there are but I have yet to come accross it. I know there are a lot of websites selling baby, maternity or mom products. But none on informative comprehensive parenting portal. Hmmm.. that's an idea by itself. Not for the uniqueness, but for the need to be fulfilled.
So perhaps, I should invite more "elderly" to join me in the Malaysian information highway....
I learnt a few things or two about the internet. First, I would say the internet age population in Malaysia is between 20-30. This I found out from some of the websites that I visited and registered myself in. Why I made that assumption? The language the used. You can sort of tell the age from the language that they used. The youngsters like to use the "hype" language.. the happening ones, more of slang rather than actual language, be it Malay or English. As opposed to the "elderly" (in the category of 35 and above) who would use a lot more proper language. That's my observation and assumption .. you are more than welcome to comment. And then of course, if they don't know if you are Malay, it's OK to communicate in English.. but once they know you are just another Malay, woaaaaa the language and the tone would change drastically. As if it's a BIG sin to speak English to another Malay. THIS, is beyond me!! I just don't understand!!!
Most of the websites/ blogs are also by the youngsters.. perhaps the internet is the IN thing these days and part of their entertainment. There's good and bad in it of course. I for one encouraged my kids to be part of the Internet community, to get the better part of the technology revolution. Then again I monitor strictly the hours they are on the Net. I don't want them to be computer geeks! They are too young to be losing their time just to the Net. I would prefer them to enjoy their childhood in the nature i.e have fun in the park, play footbal, cycling, camping etc. And thank God up to now, they prefer the nature!
I was also surprised to see the non-existence of a local parenting portal. I've been subscribing to a number of US or UK based websites on parenting. So I looked for a similar website that is locally hosted and perhaps with some local tips on parenting applicable to Asian and Muslim. There's none! I'm quite surprised. Maybe there are but I have yet to come accross it. I know there are a lot of websites selling baby, maternity or mom products. But none on informative comprehensive parenting portal. Hmmm.. that's an idea by itself. Not for the uniqueness, but for the need to be fulfilled.
So perhaps, I should invite more "elderly" to join me in the Malaysian information highway....
Friday, July 11, 2008
New craze.. self indulgence
I have a new craze. Well actually it's not new, it's something I picked up again after years and years. Reading novels. Love novels! Oh OK.. you can call me a romantic fool if you want. But really. Love novels - a good one - will give you all the feelings in the world. It will have some funny, sad, suspense, angry, happy feelings.. and the best is that romantic feelings, feel of love. I can't believe I said that!! It brings you out of this world. It's like eating chocolate and feel so heavenly.
I've been reading love novels since I was a teenager but mainly English novels. In the beginning I take it as one way to improve my English.. but over the years until my college years I kinda get hooked to it. In the early years of my working world, I start reading motivational books .. trying to "unleash the power in me".. and until now I am never away from these books which now revolving around motivational parenting.
A few months ago, out of boredom, I picked up a Malay romance novel from my sister in law.. and now I'm addicted. It really brings you out of this world 'cos sometimes it's just so unreal, but the author word it so beautifully that you think it's real, it makes you dream that it's real. It puts a smile on your lips, and tears in your eyes. The plot is sometimes simple and sometimes complicated, but again, the author made you flip the pages over and over again. I could stay up the whole night just to know the ending, which is always a beautiful, happy one.
I really salute those authors with such imagination. I don't think it's easy to come up with beautiful stories.
I've been reading love novels since I was a teenager but mainly English novels. In the beginning I take it as one way to improve my English.. but over the years until my college years I kinda get hooked to it. In the early years of my working world, I start reading motivational books .. trying to "unleash the power in me".. and until now I am never away from these books which now revolving around motivational parenting.
A few months ago, out of boredom, I picked up a Malay romance novel from my sister in law.. and now I'm addicted. It really brings you out of this world 'cos sometimes it's just so unreal, but the author word it so beautifully that you think it's real, it makes you dream that it's real. It puts a smile on your lips, and tears in your eyes. The plot is sometimes simple and sometimes complicated, but again, the author made you flip the pages over and over again. I could stay up the whole night just to know the ending, which is always a beautiful, happy one.
I really salute those authors with such imagination. I don't think it's easy to come up with beautiful stories.
Roller coaster
Life is a real roller coaster. Maybe the genius who invented roller coaster actually had the idea from life.
I was really feeling down yesterday. My internet "project" is getting nowhere .. not because of anything, but simply because I really was not sure what I should do next not sure who to refer to. Then of course, my kids who are non-stop quarelling and screaming over things (they ARE kids anyway)! I don't where my friends were.. MC, work from home.. non-existent.. whatever. Then I kinda missed my beloved .. too much of love novels can make you depressed also. Then of course some PMS factor..
Had to stay up after the kids were asleep to put some final touches on my son's science project - a scrap book on "reproduction". Then had a bad weird dream of some big shot passed away in the middle of a wedding ceremony... they carried away the bodies (a few of them really) with a wedding song playing in the background! This is really a wedding and four funerals!! Duhh...
I was still feeling low this morning until my friend called. This is a dear friend, an ex-colleuge who had become a close friend together with few others. I called him yesterday after years of not talking to him knowing that he started a new job some months ago. Told him about me quitting my job and all just to catch up with each other. Funny how he told me his experience with his only son. Made me think, aren't we all parents have the same feelings about our kids! Then this morning he called me to tell me some good news. I am sooo soo thrilled. Something to do with what I want to do .. write! Oh how I hope this will be materialised.
I was at the bottom of the roller coaster yesterday, going so slowly and now kinda getting up to the top.. but oh dear... I hope I will stay at the top ..not crushing down!!
I was really feeling down yesterday. My internet "project" is getting nowhere .. not because of anything, but simply because I really was not sure what I should do next not sure who to refer to. Then of course, my kids who are non-stop quarelling and screaming over things (they ARE kids anyway)! I don't where my friends were.. MC, work from home.. non-existent.. whatever. Then I kinda missed my beloved .. too much of love novels can make you depressed also. Then of course some PMS factor..
Had to stay up after the kids were asleep to put some final touches on my son's science project - a scrap book on "reproduction". Then had a bad weird dream of some big shot passed away in the middle of a wedding ceremony... they carried away the bodies (a few of them really) with a wedding song playing in the background! This is really a wedding and four funerals!! Duhh...
I was still feeling low this morning until my friend called. This is a dear friend, an ex-colleuge who had become a close friend together with few others. I called him yesterday after years of not talking to him knowing that he started a new job some months ago. Told him about me quitting my job and all just to catch up with each other. Funny how he told me his experience with his only son. Made me think, aren't we all parents have the same feelings about our kids! Then this morning he called me to tell me some good news. I am sooo soo thrilled. Something to do with what I want to do .. write! Oh how I hope this will be materialised.
I was at the bottom of the roller coaster yesterday, going so slowly and now kinda getting up to the top.. but oh dear... I hope I will stay at the top ..not crushing down!!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Mind Mapping
I just found out last night that my eldest son uses a mind mapping technique in his religuous school. I was ecstatic! I have taught him once how to do it, and I thought he never understood and never used it. But hey.. he does. And the best is his teacher is using mind-mapping technique delivering the notes to them. I am impressed.
What is mind mapping? Since I am no master in mind-mapping and nor am I a writer, I shall quote it from one of the many mind mapping sites :
" Popularized by Tony Buzan, Mind Maps abandon the list format of conventional note taking. They do this in favor of a two-dimensional structure. As such, a good Mind Map shows the 'shape' of the subject, the relative importance of individual points, and the way in which facts relate to one another.Mind Maps are more compact than conventional notes, often taking up one side of paper. This helps you to make associations easily. And if you find out more information after you have drawn the main Mind Map, then you can easily add it in. "
To put it in simple terms, it's merely a drawing of notes. Instead of listing the notes (of whatever you have in mind) you draw in such one point is related to another. You can mind-map ANYthing in the world, from your personal things like groceries shopping, wedding plan, travel plan to your business plan or your life goal! It's really great.. I've done it many times and I rarely left any important points!
If you can train your kids to do mind mapping, it is SO great as it is not only make them remember but they can develop their thoughts in such that "they help you to associate ideas and make connections that might not otherwise make".
Here are examples of a Time Management mind map. There are two ways of doing it, the normal map with words/ phrase or a very nice colorful and meaningful maps via pictures. The former is preferred as it is very visual and easy to remember.
Type 1 (simple note-taking, no colors, no graphics)
What is mind mapping? Since I am no master in mind-mapping and nor am I a writer, I shall quote it from one of the many mind mapping sites :
" Popularized by Tony Buzan, Mind Maps abandon the list format of conventional note taking. They do this in favor of a two-dimensional structure. As such, a good Mind Map shows the 'shape' of the subject, the relative importance of individual points, and the way in which facts relate to one another.Mind Maps are more compact than conventional notes, often taking up one side of paper. This helps you to make associations easily. And if you find out more information after you have drawn the main Mind Map, then you can easily add it in. "
To put it in simple terms, it's merely a drawing of notes. Instead of listing the notes (of whatever you have in mind) you draw in such one point is related to another. You can mind-map ANYthing in the world, from your personal things like groceries shopping, wedding plan, travel plan to your business plan or your life goal! It's really great.. I've done it many times and I rarely left any important points!
If you can train your kids to do mind mapping, it is SO great as it is not only make them remember but they can develop their thoughts in such that "they help you to associate ideas and make connections that might not otherwise make".
Here are examples of a Time Management mind map. There are two ways of doing it, the normal map with words/ phrase or a very nice colorful and meaningful maps via pictures. The former is preferred as it is very visual and easy to remember.
Type 1 (simple note-taking, no colors, no graphics)
Type 2 (graphical, colorful, simple phrases)
Try it. It's easy, fun and highly effective!
Crushed but up again
I thought I was making a bit of a progress by writing to an Internet-money-making so-called guru yesterday. I was so so wrong. I don't blame him. I blame the Malaysian culture that is not so open, not so giving, not so helpful when it comes to helping their own people. Fine. I asked a question, maybe not so direct. What I got is not much, as much as I got from all the researches I've done on my own. Nothing new.
But when I opened up my email this morning I got a little bit of encouragement again. Thanks to my favorite blogging mom newsletter that I received every other day. Again, it hit me on the nose because this time it really said something like GET UP, and DO IT NOW!!! It really pierced my heart and I felt like I'm racing for time! I'm beginning to enjoy all these... but really.. I need a mentor badly! I cannot just get up and do it. That's just not me. OK.. I will draw my short term goal.. NOW. See if I can come up with something for the next few days or next week...
But when I opened up my email this morning I got a little bit of encouragement again. Thanks to my favorite blogging mom newsletter that I received every other day. Again, it hit me on the nose because this time it really said something like GET UP, and DO IT NOW!!! It really pierced my heart and I felt like I'm racing for time! I'm beginning to enjoy all these... but really.. I need a mentor badly! I cannot just get up and do it. That's just not me. OK.. I will draw my short term goal.. NOW. See if I can come up with something for the next few days or next week...
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Another step towards working at home
I subscribed to a number of newsletters on internet-money-making websites to get more info on the how-tos, do's and don'ts and the realities of the internet business. So one of the tips I have today is on procrastination that hit me real hard on my nose!! The tips are talking about how much money I have lost by not the starting the business NOW!! It talked about how much time are wasted. I really felt it. It's just that I'm not procrastinating, I'm just not ready. I don't want to deliver something that is half-cooked.
So in desparation, I have emailed to one of the internet guru (whom I have confidence with!) to seek his opinion. I hope he will revert to me as soon as possible. Step 1.
Step 2. Will get another e-book to build up my website on WordPress. I kinda have decided on the name to reflect my niche. I hope I'm in the right niche. Eh .. wait a minute, there is no right or wrong niche isn't it. Yeah.. I hope so.
Oh dear God.. give me the strength, the patience.
So in desparation, I have emailed to one of the internet guru (whom I have confidence with!) to seek his opinion. I hope he will revert to me as soon as possible. Step 1.
Step 2. Will get another e-book to build up my website on WordPress. I kinda have decided on the name to reflect my niche. I hope I'm in the right niche. Eh .. wait a minute, there is no right or wrong niche isn't it. Yeah.. I hope so.
Oh dear God.. give me the strength, the patience.
Friday, July 4, 2008
The Feminist Mistake
I read a review on this book "The Feminist Mistake" by Leslie Bennets in my favorite momblog. I almost hit a button to buy, the I thought, how about I read all the reviews there were about this book before I buy it. True enough, at the end, I don't need to buy it 'cos I kinda get the gist of the book from all the reviews. And I'm glad I didn't bcos it would surely make me re-think of my decision to quit my job (though it's too late).
This book is about "supposedly a mistake", that, women quit their job to stay at home with their childre. This really interest me, and I'm sure many of you too. It talked about the "economic dependency" of women who stays at home. In simple terms, how working women who quit their job to stay at home eventually will lose their financial freedom.. and somehow, will definitely fall apart (financially) when their husbands left them (as is all husbands will leave their wives). The objective of her writing this book, according to momblog is to :
- ".. sound a warning to women who forgo income producing work in favor of a domestic role predicated on economic dependency… "
- ".. to document the long-term dangers of that choice"
- ".. to reaffirm the immense value of income producing work that gives women financial autonomy along with innumerable other rewards.”
Since I only the review, I can only make comments based on the reviews. So fine, I guess those working women who's thinking about quitting their job to stay at home with their kids will have some insights of what it would be like (financially) by reading this book. The awful truth. Some agreed with the author some didn't even get to page 3 and already hating it.
If I were to read the book, surely, it will scare me to death. Why? Because, the truth is, we are not financially ready to face the music! But hey, there are so many things that I can do to generate income (and this is definitely not covered in the book - it talked about the problem but not the resolution). It's a matter of whether I want to do it or not. In this cyber age and globalisation, anything is possible as long as you have the will. There's definitely a way, all you need is lots of will!
I have always been independent, financially.. and everything else. I hate to ask from other people especially from my other half. But there's always this small voice inside of me thinking .. why do I have to be so independent? What's wrong if I could ask my other half to help me financially.. And I was thinking also, the moment I quit my job .. it's payback timeee.. now he has to no choice but pay all the bills without me helping. Why don't I just sit back and relax and enjoy the children. Then I read this Feminist thingy and reviews and it struck me.. it's not about me trying so much to generate income, it is about what I want to do for the rest of my life! It's about doing something that I want to do all these while.. WRITING. And while I'm at it, I might as well kill the bird with one stone - generate money from my writing. Use my technical knowledge that's been on the shelf for so long!
There I've said it. Whether or not you want to believe it. And why am I rambling about this in the first place? Trying to justify something to somebody.. myself???
This book is about "supposedly a mistake", that, women quit their job to stay at home with their childre. This really interest me, and I'm sure many of you too. It talked about the "economic dependency" of women who stays at home. In simple terms, how working women who quit their job to stay at home eventually will lose their financial freedom.. and somehow, will definitely fall apart (financially) when their husbands left them (as is all husbands will leave their wives). The objective of her writing this book, according to momblog is to :
- ".. sound a warning to women who forgo income producing work in favor of a domestic role predicated on economic dependency… "
- ".. to document the long-term dangers of that choice"
- ".. to reaffirm the immense value of income producing work that gives women financial autonomy along with innumerable other rewards.”
Since I only the review, I can only make comments based on the reviews. So fine, I guess those working women who's thinking about quitting their job to stay at home with their kids will have some insights of what it would be like (financially) by reading this book. The awful truth. Some agreed with the author some didn't even get to page 3 and already hating it.
If I were to read the book, surely, it will scare me to death. Why? Because, the truth is, we are not financially ready to face the music! But hey, there are so many things that I can do to generate income (and this is definitely not covered in the book - it talked about the problem but not the resolution). It's a matter of whether I want to do it or not. In this cyber age and globalisation, anything is possible as long as you have the will. There's definitely a way, all you need is lots of will!
I have always been independent, financially.. and everything else. I hate to ask from other people especially from my other half. But there's always this small voice inside of me thinking .. why do I have to be so independent? What's wrong if I could ask my other half to help me financially.. And I was thinking also, the moment I quit my job .. it's payback timeee.. now he has to no choice but pay all the bills without me helping. Why don't I just sit back and relax and enjoy the children. Then I read this Feminist thingy and reviews and it struck me.. it's not about me trying so much to generate income, it is about what I want to do for the rest of my life! It's about doing something that I want to do all these while.. WRITING. And while I'm at it, I might as well kill the bird with one stone - generate money from my writing. Use my technical knowledge that's been on the shelf for so long!
There I've said it. Whether or not you want to believe it. And why am I rambling about this in the first place? Trying to justify something to somebody.. myself???
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
1001 Things Your Kids Should See and Do
I bought the book above by Harry H.Harrison Jr. A quick Google search showed me that this guy wrote books on raising kis. Check out Amazon.com.
What I like about this book is it's simple and easy to read. It's not like a book to read, but merely consists of 1001 points for you to think on what your kids should see and do - or else they'll never leave home. Quite interesting really. It's divided into a few sections. I'm only on the first section as of today and already having this shared with you. The first section is "They need to visit Mister Roger's neigborhood" which I understand as what they need to know about basics in the house, the universe, etc.. simply the basics of life. He has 90 things of this section.
It kinda put a smile on my face reaing some of the notes. I then made a mental notes of what or how are some of these things applicable to my kids. So here's some of the points in the book and how I see it .. (I change a few wordings to suit our Malaysian way of doing things, as this writer is American, his writing is very much American and not applicable but conveys the same meaning if you change some items) ...
What my kids are already doing / always do:
- They need to develop sense of adventure. The younger the better.
- They need to know who they are; their full name, address, mom's and dad's full names and phone number
- They need to ride a bike. And fall down. And get up and ride some more
- They need to eat weird food: other than rice, like Sushi, Tofu, Salad (without rice)...
- They need to tell the truth
- They need to switch off the tele.
What I wish they can/ would do:
- They need to find their way out of a maze (or a rat race!!??)
- They need to conquer their fears
- They need to stand up for themselves
- They need to do things well without expecting a praise
- They need to roll in the snow even if they are staying in Malaysia
What they MUST do:
- They need to learn not to keep secrets from you
- They need to say nice things about people instead of hurtful things
- They need to learn to say "I'm sorry"
- They need to respect their curfew : Television curfew, Computer curfew, be-home-by-9pm curfew
- They need to stand up when meeting an adult. And shake hands while looking in their eyes.
What I'm sure they'd love to do:
- They need to build a birhouse
- They need to collect a jar of lightning bugs at night
- They need to spend hours building sandcastles on the beach and watch the evening tides wash it away
- They need to do a hokey-pokey (whatever that is) on Rollerblades
- They need to sleep outside and watch the falling stars
What goes without saying :
- They need to see you reaing your Quran. At home.
- They need to pray. First with you. Then without you. (and hopefully for you)
What I'm not sure if they see:
- They need to see that you love them completely. The way they are.
- They need to see you light up when they get home from school or when you get home from work..
Those are just part of getting to know the "neigborhood". There are also a few which I don't agree to such as "they need to take a nap with their dog".. and so on..
So what do you think? I think it's worth a buy.. not necessarily must follow all of it...
What I like about this book is it's simple and easy to read. It's not like a book to read, but merely consists of 1001 points for you to think on what your kids should see and do - or else they'll never leave home. Quite interesting really. It's divided into a few sections. I'm only on the first section as of today and already having this shared with you. The first section is "They need to visit Mister Roger's neigborhood" which I understand as what they need to know about basics in the house, the universe, etc.. simply the basics of life. He has 90 things of this section.
It kinda put a smile on my face reaing some of the notes. I then made a mental notes of what or how are some of these things applicable to my kids. So here's some of the points in the book and how I see it .. (I change a few wordings to suit our Malaysian way of doing things, as this writer is American, his writing is very much American and not applicable but conveys the same meaning if you change some items) ...
What my kids are already doing / always do:
- They need to develop sense of adventure. The younger the better.
- They need to know who they are; their full name, address, mom's and dad's full names and phone number
- They need to ride a bike. And fall down. And get up and ride some more
- They need to eat weird food: other than rice, like Sushi, Tofu, Salad (without rice)...
- They need to tell the truth
- They need to switch off the tele.
What I wish they can/ would do:
- They need to find their way out of a maze (or a rat race!!??)
- They need to conquer their fears
- They need to stand up for themselves
- They need to do things well without expecting a praise
- They need to roll in the snow even if they are staying in Malaysia
What they MUST do:
- They need to learn not to keep secrets from you
- They need to say nice things about people instead of hurtful things
- They need to learn to say "I'm sorry"
- They need to respect their curfew : Television curfew, Computer curfew, be-home-by-9pm curfew
- They need to stand up when meeting an adult. And shake hands while looking in their eyes.
What I'm sure they'd love to do:
- They need to build a birhouse
- They need to collect a jar of lightning bugs at night
- They need to spend hours building sandcastles on the beach and watch the evening tides wash it away
- They need to do a hokey-pokey (whatever that is) on Rollerblades
- They need to sleep outside and watch the falling stars
What goes without saying :
- They need to see you reaing your Quran. At home.
- They need to pray. First with you. Then without you. (and hopefully for you)
What I'm not sure if they see:
- They need to see that you love them completely. The way they are.
- They need to see you light up when they get home from school or when you get home from work..
Those are just part of getting to know the "neigborhood". There are also a few which I don't agree to such as "they need to take a nap with their dog".. and so on..
So what do you think? I think it's worth a buy.. not necessarily must follow all of it...
My Ultimate Brownies
Late last year, I suddenly found a passion to bake. My very first cake was a banana cake. For a first timer, it came out nice, soft, so cake-like. I couldn't believe it! And I didn't even follow the recipe to the exact measure. Somehow after a few rounds of banana cake, it started to play tricks on me. Not sure what went wrong but it just wouldn't come out right.. it became a "bingka" instead of cake. After a few rounds of Banana bingka.. I kinda give up and try other things. I tried a few other cakes which "became" cakes like carrot cake, chocolate cake, and even muffins.
But my best baked item so far is the brownies! My dear nephew gave the recipe to me after he tried it a few times. I have my fears cos I have been baking brownies from the box (oopss) and it never turned out right. But this recipe from the scratch is just different. It is so easy to make, and never fail me .. YET! I have rounds of brownies for the past few months and is well liked by all of those who has tasted it. So I'm giving it away now.. for free! This is how I make it...
Dry items to be mixed together:
3/4 cup flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder (Van Houten)
Chopped hazelnut (to your liking)
Chopped (chunky) chocolate bar (200g Van Houten or Hershey's - whatever chocolate you like)
Beat together:
4 eggs
250g melted butter (1 small bar of butter)
1 tsp vanilla essen
1 cup of sugar
Beat the above item just for a while, no need until fluffy. I normally beat just to make sure the sugar is dissolved. Then add this mixture to the dry mixture. Stir slowly and evenly, make sure everything is mixed well. Don't overmix. And there you go.. you have your brownies. Oppss.. make sure you have pre-heat your oven at 180 Degrees Celcius before that. And grease your baking pan. Pour the mixture onto the baking pan - whatever baking pan shape you like. And bake for 37mins.
The original recipe of this says just mix everything together and bake for 40 mins. It gets too crunchy at the top (too dry) if I bake it at 40mins so I reduce the time by 3 mins. And it's best to let it cool before you eat it.. and even put it in a fridge for a while. But this never happened so far cos the kids and I like it hot. I have yet to try chocolate topping on top. This would be nice also.. it'll be so chocolaty!!
Unfortunately I forgot to take picture of this.. it's always a goner before I can snap the picture. Next time perhaps.
Happy baking.. I'm sure you'll love it!
But my best baked item so far is the brownies! My dear nephew gave the recipe to me after he tried it a few times. I have my fears cos I have been baking brownies from the box (oopss) and it never turned out right. But this recipe from the scratch is just different. It is so easy to make, and never fail me .. YET! I have rounds of brownies for the past few months and is well liked by all of those who has tasted it. So I'm giving it away now.. for free! This is how I make it...
Dry items to be mixed together:
3/4 cup flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder (Van Houten)
Chopped hazelnut (to your liking)
Chopped (chunky) chocolate bar (200g Van Houten or Hershey's - whatever chocolate you like)
Beat together:
4 eggs
250g melted butter (1 small bar of butter)
1 tsp vanilla essen
1 cup of sugar
Beat the above item just for a while, no need until fluffy. I normally beat just to make sure the sugar is dissolved. Then add this mixture to the dry mixture. Stir slowly and evenly, make sure everything is mixed well. Don't overmix. And there you go.. you have your brownies. Oppss.. make sure you have pre-heat your oven at 180 Degrees Celcius before that. And grease your baking pan. Pour the mixture onto the baking pan - whatever baking pan shape you like. And bake for 37mins.
The original recipe of this says just mix everything together and bake for 40 mins. It gets too crunchy at the top (too dry) if I bake it at 40mins so I reduce the time by 3 mins. And it's best to let it cool before you eat it.. and even put it in a fridge for a while. But this never happened so far cos the kids and I like it hot. I have yet to try chocolate topping on top. This would be nice also.. it'll be so chocolaty!!
Unfortunately I forgot to take picture of this.. it's always a goner before I can snap the picture. Next time perhaps.
Happy baking.. I'm sure you'll love it!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Affiliate programme
This is an overdue entry. I have been quite busy with "work" that I've been putting off this one. Today marks the first day of a new beginning of many of my colleuge as this is their day of transition to a vendor company. I wish them all the best in their new company albeit still doing the same job.
As for me, my day 1 will only start in October. Though 3 months away, I am frantically and desperately searching and researching for my work-at-home project. Again, overwhelmed wth information. Except at this point of time, I'm pretty sure of what I really want to do. But still not ready to execute because I think I'm not quite there yet.
Going over to my topic, what is affiliate programme? Easy-peasy.. it is a marketing tool whereby you promote other people's products and get commission from it if people by the product upon your promotion. There you go. How do you go about doing this? There are thousands of websites out there have affiliate programs. You basically join their affiliate programme and tadaaaa.. you are promoting their product already and if you get lucky, you'll get paid some commission. How much is the commission? Depends, it can range from 10% to as high as 60%. Digital products normally would have a higher commission as compared to physical products.
The easiest example I can give is on affiliate programme selling e-books by Mr.A. If you join Mr.A's affiliate programme you will get a 20% commission for each book sold via your promotion. If one book cost USD100, you easily get USD20 per book. So imagine if you managed to sell e-books a week, you get USD100/week. For a month you get at least USD400, easily! And that converted to RM is about RM1280. Not bad at all eh.. who would want to give you that much .. easily without much effort!!
The best part is still.. having your own products, your own affiliate programme. Compile/ produce and e-book of your own niche, the start your own affiliate programme. If you have 10 affiliate members, selling 5 e-books a week at USD100, you are already selling 50 e-books a week and that's equivalent to USD5K! And you give away 20% commission to them totalling USD1K... the rest is YOURS! Taking the same average sold a week, minus the commission, you will be earning USD16K a month! Voila... Who would give you that kind of money by sitting down in front of the computer and practically doing nothing? And this is what they say of having the money works for you while you are sleeping!!
So I now have 2 choices:
1) Join any affiliate program - I really have to know what's out there in the information highway and only choose the right ones
2) Create my own affiliate program - I have to do more research on my niche and compile it as an e-book or whatever product that I'm selling..
As for me, my day 1 will only start in October. Though 3 months away, I am frantically and desperately searching and researching for my work-at-home project. Again, overwhelmed wth information. Except at this point of time, I'm pretty sure of what I really want to do. But still not ready to execute because I think I'm not quite there yet.
Going over to my topic, what is affiliate programme? Easy-peasy.. it is a marketing tool whereby you promote other people's products and get commission from it if people by the product upon your promotion. There you go. How do you go about doing this? There are thousands of websites out there have affiliate programs. You basically join their affiliate programme and tadaaaa.. you are promoting their product already and if you get lucky, you'll get paid some commission. How much is the commission? Depends, it can range from 10% to as high as 60%. Digital products normally would have a higher commission as compared to physical products.
The easiest example I can give is on affiliate programme selling e-books by Mr.A. If you join Mr.A's affiliate programme you will get a 20% commission for each book sold via your promotion. If one book cost USD100, you easily get USD20 per book. So imagine if you managed to sell e-books a week, you get USD100/week. For a month you get at least USD400, easily! And that converted to RM is about RM1280. Not bad at all eh.. who would want to give you that much .. easily without much effort!!
The best part is still.. having your own products, your own affiliate programme. Compile/ produce and e-book of your own niche, the start your own affiliate programme. If you have 10 affiliate members, selling 5 e-books a week at USD100, you are already selling 50 e-books a week and that's equivalent to USD5K! And you give away 20% commission to them totalling USD1K... the rest is YOURS! Taking the same average sold a week, minus the commission, you will be earning USD16K a month! Voila... Who would give you that kind of money by sitting down in front of the computer and practically doing nothing? And this is what they say of having the money works for you while you are sleeping!!
So I now have 2 choices:
1) Join any affiliate program - I really have to know what's out there in the information highway and only choose the right ones
2) Create my own affiliate program - I have to do more research on my niche and compile it as an e-book or whatever product that I'm selling..
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