I don't know how to start this entry really.. but I have to write about this one.
For the past 4 years I'm sort of a "temporary" single mother as my other half is working far far away in the desert. It was his choice agreed by all. Well .. kids were too small to decide then. Along the way there were many talks of us following him there but it was never materialised due to the high cost of living in the Middle East.
Thankfully, for the past four years nothing major disaster happened without him except the incident where my maid took away the two kids (this is one long story, need another entry for this!). The rest were manageable though sometimes really challenging for me to raise the brood. The things he missed though were many! He missed all the sports day for all kids, all report card days, he only managed to attend one Hari Anugerah which was last year as it coincide with his break, he missed most of Omar's important milestones like his first step, his first solid food and countless of Omar's antics. In fact, out of Omar's almost 3 years of life, in total he only see him maybe a year or less. I was on my own for the rest of my confinement after Omar's delivery.. he had to leave after a week. But thanks to the technology today, Omar knows his dad very well!
For the past 4 years, I was the driver, the plumber, the mechanic (err.. no problem I've got AAM and reliable workshop), ... you name it. I have gotten used to this situation. I'm used not having him around and making my own decision on little things and looking for solutions. I'm used to taking my kids anywhere without a man around though I rarely do so especially in public in fear of any unwanted incidents. I'm so used to having time for myself without having to worry about a "husband"!
And now the countdown begins... exactly onw week from now he'll be home for good. The kids are so excited! Finally dad is home, they have one complete family. Me.. on the other hand is rather worried.. worried if I step the border of being a wife (this sometimes happened for the past four years whenever he comes home). Most of the time I would assume the lead role for the family .. now I have to transfer the role. I have to re-adjust. The re-adjusting is rather worrying because I foresee some conflicts of what I've taught and train the kids for the past years with what and how he'll do it. We do have some differences in this area.
Whatever it is, I'm glad he's finally coming back (even though his next posting may still require him to travel, but it's in Malaysia). Now that the kids are growing, it's really important for him to have a father figure especially the boys. And for me, some burden is finally shifted.
Alhamdulillah and I pray that things will be well adjusted next week onwards.