Monday, August 25, 2008

Not good enough

I always thought that I am not a "good-enough" mom. Not that I don't try, I'm ALWAYS trying. Then again, perhaps thinking that I am not good enough is good so that I'm always trying to be better. And why do I think that I'm not good enough? Oh well, a few things here and there. Like the fact that I sometimes have no patience at all with them, or thinking that I don't spend enough time with them, or even the fact that my other half sometimes thought I did not do a good job on something related to them.. etc etc.

I had a good one week break last week which I spent most of it with them, without much help from the maid. And this is what I observed:

1) Omar definitely preferred me to the maid.. and not so "tantrumatic" (if there's such word!) In normal days, he would have a lot of tantrums the minute I got back from work.. obviously trying to get more attention .. and of course testing my patience!
2) They behave better if I have more patience
3) I have more patience with them when I don't have to think about going to work! My concentration is only on them.
4) I managed them pretty well without the maid's help - though a bit kelam kabut at first..
5) They are a happier camp of children when we are around

I can go on and on.. all leading to positive behavior. I have noted this before and again. It's a proven example of how kids need us around them, well not all the time but most of the time. I guess they feel more confident and more loved. And this.. is the simple reason why I should forgo the my so-called "career" and stay with them at home...


Yusni At YMJ Consult said...

I agree with you 100%. I miss watching my children grow up when I am not around most of the time.

My job has the best of me. The quality time supposedly that I have with the kids are only after 7pm after I am like beat up with all the work stress and office problems. They got to see the worst of me all the time.

I tend to agree more than ever that for working mom, we have to be selective over our carreer. We can work but not the stressful one or opt for half a day kind of job or flexible working time.

After I have my employment, my relationship improves tremendously with my children, especially my 16 year old daughter. I am now a mom as well as a friend that she can confide on things. The changes are quite drastic for being at home for just a week. It is different than taking leave because at the end you still have to go back to work after it's over.

I love my life now. I dont mind to forego some of the comfort as long as my family is happy. I dont get angry or frustrated like before. I am fun mom as how I used to be before.

That's the bottom line. We got only one shot in making our life work, we must be happy and make the best out of it. Intan's advise on her recent blog, is very true.

You are a great mom but without so much pressure, running the household alone and working at the same time, there is so much can one can handle.

Once you left your employment, the children will love it and you can see the difference in you and in them.

I am enjoying it already.

mamachupan said...

A happier mom will definitely lead to happier children. According to one stay-at-home daddy, he is definitely a better dad now that he doesn't have to worry about work and all the time to concentrate on family (his own words.. heheh)

I tried to leave everything related to work when I go home. Or possibly spend 1-2 hours worrying about them, and then focus on enjoying my home and family.. But this is probably because my stress at work is not so big and can easily be forgotten..

I don't think there is such as a perfect mom, motherhood is not a task that to be perfected, its something to be enjoyed!