Saturday, January 17, 2009

"Me time"

One of the many things that you can keep yourself sane due to stress of being a mom is to have a "me time". This is one of the many tips I read in many many articles magazines, guides, tips, etc. Me time here refers to getting away from being a mom for a while and just take care of yourself. Tear yourself away from being a mom and just be you. Yeah OK.. sounds easy and fun and doable. But can we really do it? Is it really possible? To me... errr... not quite realistic.

The moment you have a child, there's no turning back. You are a mom, fullstop. It is not you anymore. Everything in your world changed.. it will never ever be the same. Yes, you are still you in mind and heart but not everything else. Most importantly, your whole viewpoint/ perspective of life changed, thus affecting the way you think and do things. OK fine. So what is this me time and be you? It could mean many many things.. it could mean getting away from your child for a while to chill out, meet some old friends, spending time pursuing your hobby, go to the spa, go to the gym,.. in other words, just do whatever you want to do other than doing mom stuff!

And this is my version of me time. No spa, gym or friends needed. All I need is some uninterrrupted time reading a good funny romantic novel, uninterrupted time watching a complete movie at home, holding the TV remote to myself and watch 10 channels in an hour if I want to, and most importantly, having an uninterrupted peaceful time in the toilet (yeah... no kidding! 90% of the time I'm in there, there'll be somebody knocking at the toilet door asking/telling me things, as unimportant as "Mom.. the cat's missing!")... these are the simple me time that I'd very much yearn for but not likely to have it and have given up on trying to get it! No no no.. don't get me wrong.. I do love my kids and I do love being a mom. No I don't want to turn back the clock and be single and searching. As much as I love those mushy romantic novels, I don't ever want to there again.. searching!
So what am I babbling? I'm talking about the me time that I want so much but I know at the back of head, I would be very lonely if I ever get those me time that I've listed. And no no.. this has got nothing to do with me being a full time mom. I've wanted this ever since I was working.

The thing is .. when you are a mother, you have a "dependent". As long as this dependent is still your dependent, you will have NO me time. Even if you have, they will be at the back of your head, you'll be thinking of what they are doing right now, will they be searching for you, have they eaten.. etc. The only time you will get it perhaps when they are older and have their own dependents. Other than that.. by sheer luck? Face it Mom!

Amazingly, I'm having a me time at this very moment writing this entry without any "Mom...!!" over my shoulder(they are out with Daddy!) ...

4 comments:

Yusni MJ said...

Toyah,

The best me time for me is in the very early in the morning like 5 - 6 am when they are not awake yet. Then I can do things without any interruption even from the BIG daddy.

Other time is before they go to sleep. But once a while a chance to go out while they are under the care of hubby is also great.

I love them dearly but sometimes I need to love me as well so that I can love them even more. Selfish eh?

Mommy dearie said...

Yus,
Unfortunately I'm not a morning person. I can stay up all night, but to rise early.. oh so difficult!
I guess sometimes we HAVE to be selfish..

3yearshousewife said...

I can definitely relate to the toilet 'business'. I have one crying and one banging on the door all the time. I have the 'double trouble' who are also the 'terrible two's'. Hard work being at home mom. I was dismayed by how much ME time I actually have. Almost non existent. I agree with love yourself first then you'll be able to love others more. May we be blessed with all the pahala we can get from being the good and not so good mom all at the same time...

Mommy dearie said...

3yeahousewife .. I thought I was the only one having no ME time in the toilet! Thanks for reading and commenting!