Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Focus.. ACT!

It's a matter of getting up and do it. I've been doing a lot of reading on how to's on some areas in my attempt to "work from home". But never get around to actually do it. I have all the instructions, I have the tools, I have the means.. but why is it so hard for me to actually do it? Perhaps I lack the will? I have thousands of excuses too! I also thought of so many things that I want to do and I could do. At the end of the day none accomplished. How dissapointing! It's like watching days and months go by.. without any results.

Yesterday I read an article on Money Tree which tells you money does grow on trees! With the right strategies of course.. hence the Money Tree. Last week I read an article on How to Make Money on the Internet.. it really works, but the most important thing is FOCUS. You have to focus on what you want to do.. not do everything. Doinkkkk... one big hit on my head. That's it.. another thing that I'm lacking.. focus.. that's why I end up doing nothing. I want to do so many things.. I end up doing a little bit here and there - nothing accomplished.

Oh well perhaps there are "some" things accomplished. I managed all data gathering and preparation of tools and content.. but still.. there's no real determination in getting it done. Perhaps I need to get desperate. But I am kinda desperate right now. I'm desperate to get excited to see the results, desperate to fill my time with something "intellectually challenging" .. other than "parental challenge". And most of all desperate to see some RM pouring into my bank account out of my efforts.

I guess this is the real dilemma of me being a SAHM. I lack the focus, motivation and determination.. despite the desperation that I'm feeling. I hope I will not head to failure.. They say you have to fail first, it's a BIG step towards success. I truly agree.. hey but I am so afraid of failure. I have never really failed.. not really so successful either.. but I get through. I got through school, I got through college, I got through 15 years of working life. That's all there is, I got through. It's pathetic. No real success.

The only success so far that I see is raising my kids which is even then I am not sure of the real result until they grow up and live their lives "successfully". And this .. I swear.. I will not just go through it. I am working hard for it because I can feel the pain of raising them. I have my all my emotions surfacing while taking care of them. So I pray hard ... I will tread through this one.. and I will be successful.

I'm straying away from what I was gonna write.. being focused. Now that I've lashed out everything here.. perhaps today onwards, I will take action and hope for the best results rather than wonder how it would turn out. All the best to me!


3yearshousewife said...

All the very BEST!

Mommy dearie said...

Thanks. I need it!

mamachupan said...

Toyah, check your goals and see if they are too big or unrealistic. If they are, down-scale them..

Start small and count every little things as accomplishment.. Even the fact that u spent one extra hour with your kids is a form of accomplishment.

I think with being at home, your achievement (or KPI, hehehe) is not as clear as at work.. Create your own KPI and reward yourself when achieving some..