I wanted to beat myself and write before the new year came. I lost!
I have no energy, passion nor patience to write at the end of the year. Alhamdulillah this time Allah moved me to write.
I wanted to write about my achievement, my failure, my joy, my frustration (this one weighs the most)... but maybe not.. it's too cliche huh..
I've had my fair share of achievement and joy in 2025. I had a colorful year, too many events that made the year passed by in a breeze. I have to look back because I want to remember everything but my brain storage has come to the brim and some memories simply slipped out. Many times I wish I remember especially those joyful moment, but who are we to ask. We are driven by Him.. we will remember if He lets us.
But I remember my frustrations too. It is mostly emotions that left a scar in my heart. And to think of it the scar that has been there for a long time but it always resurface and bleed again, no matter how much I try to heal it. Sometimes it's not even painful anymore, my brain has become immune to it but my hearts still hurt. The only thing is that these days, I try to rationalise it, change my perspective and remind myself that this is by Allah's decree, and I have to accept it for He knows best. No matter how painful it is, I have to accept it because it comes from Allah and we don't know the good in it.
I hope 2026 will be a better year. As we always wish another new year will be a better year. Isn't life always like that.. life has to progress better. Another year should be better than the year before, even today should be better than yesterday. At this age especially, the age that anything can happen to me anytime, the age that I should look forward to reap what I sow, I shouldn't be 'planning' for life anymore. I should be planning for my afterlife, that is nearer to me now. I should use the rest of my life in peace, harmony, no backbiting, no envy, no regrets, no blaming... just enjoy a quiet peaceful life. I have lived my life before. Except a few things, I have gone through a good life. Alhamdulillah.
I'm not sure what I'm getting at in this post really. But yeah.. it is the beginning of the year. I sure hope 2026 will bring me more joy, success, good deeds, and I hope I can be a better person for the akhirah.
So come 2026, bring it on! May Allah ease and guide me.. Aminn..
