Ramadhan is here again

Alhamdulillah I am still here this Ramadhan. Never assume that you are going to be here again next Ramadhan. Life can end at any minute any second without us knowing. Hence do make the best Ramadhan every single time. Make du'a (say prayers), lots and lots of du'a every time. It may not be granted the way you want it to be, but just do it.

I have one du'a that I've been making for my entire marriage life and it is still not granted, not even a bit, in fact the situation seemed to be be worsened this year. I do not know what Allah is trying to tell me. I'm at loss, in despair!

Whatever it is, for the remaining two weeks of Ramadhan, I will try as hard to pray as much, do good deeds, remain calm (this is not gonna be easy, but this too will pass!) and take whatever that comes my way.

(I'm writing this in frustration! Frustrated over the situation that I cannot control, say out loud, or tell anyone!)

May Allah ease my remaining Ramadhan, may He grants my prayers (especially that very ONE du'a), may He accepts all my ibadah, my repents, and my good deeds. May He makes me strong enough to go through this test in Ramadhan (over and over again). Please don't take me away, not just yet. Just take away from this whole sickening, frustrating situation. IF ONLY.....

God have mercy on me!