Sunday, March 18, 2012

If I could write .....

I wish I could write ... there are just too many things that I want to write about. As life passed me by, there were just too many things to capture and I wish I had written the happenings in my life so that I remember everything. So that I can recall every happy moments in my life when I am down to cheer me up, every sad moment to remind me how to get up again and perhaps every painful moment to make me stronger.

If I could write, I would write about my happy childhood. My childhood that was full of kampung real adventure.. no real or expensive toys but merely from nature! I would want to relive my childhood where there were no worries, just fun lots and lots of love from my family.

If I could write, I would write about my teenage years when I was sent to a boarding school that I hated but stayed on anyway. I learned about friendship and being independent. The friendship that I keep until today.

If I could write, I would write about the most wonderful time in my life, when I went through what I thought was the 'real life'. I learned more about friendship, the value of it, the test of friendship and of course, about love. The real love, the puppy love, the broken hearts, the hatred as well as 'love on the rebound'... or whatever they call it. It was also the beginning of what's more coming ahead in life. The hardship of being independent, the loss and sorrow of losing the most important people in your life, the effects it led you to after that, and somehow how it has shaped you after that.

If I could write, I would write about the joy and sorrow of a marriage, of motherhood, and again of friendship at this stage of life which I found is so significant that I can go berserk without my friends. And at this point of life I would very much want to write the journey of life which has formed some sort of a pattern in one's life... One never knew what's in store for them, one never knew life would turn out to be that way for them regardless how careful they are planning for their lives, let alone those who never plan anything for their lives instead let nature takes its course. 

If I could write I want to write down all my wishes, then, now and ahead of time. I want to write down all the things that I wish I had and had not done. I want my children to read and I hope they will read, understand why life has to be like that, I want them to learn from it, I want them not to repeat the same mistakes I did. 

I want to write, not just about me, but also the lives of those around me which has greatly influenced my life, my life stories and has become apart of me.

If I only I could write.... where every moment spent is actually 'real'!