I watched a 'feel good' movie the other day. I thought it was the same happy ending love story, a lost love rekindled. But hey I was wrong. It was actually a kind of a practical ending, an ending that I did not expect but made me feel good all over. It's about a closure in life with not necessarily good ending but teach you something about life. I'm sure all of us had one or two episodes in life that you need a closure to it. I mean, yeah sure, everything goes on, moves on but one or two will need a closure for you to move on to the next level of life, and of course to a better one. Then again, there would also be some episodes that has no closure but you have to deal with it yourself to find the right closure, based on where it's going, how it affects your life or even how it ended. You need to figure it out yourself.
I do have one episode of my life where even up to five years ago I still thought I need to be in touch with the other party to have a proper closure. But I was wrong, so wrong because I think I was expecting something else, not even a real closure. Somehow, God is always showing me the way, making sure I head to the right direction and again save me from wrongdoings. I managed to see the closure without having to clear it up with the other party. Everything that happened led me to the actual closure. Easy. If I had thought about it many many years ago, I would have been in a better position emotionally. I guess that's life is all about, a journey that you go through and learn about many things along the way.
As we usher the new year of 2020, this is not a closure to 2019 but I would say another milestone in the journey. The journey that you don't know when it's gonna end, a journey that even sometimes you don't even want it to end, especially if you haven't even reached the spot that you want to be the most in that journey. Or sometimes you have reached it but you don't even realised you have reached it because you are too busy looking over your shoulder, looking behind (regretting, reminiscing) or ahead (too busy planning for the future that you forgot to live the moment), or thinking that you need more. You are never satisfied with what you have, you want more and more.
2019 has been a great year to me. It has been kind and generous. It has taught me many many things without me realizing. Good and bad, happy and sorrow. I was sometimes too busy to enjoy the moment, too busy to find the happiness when the happiness is just within. I truly truly thank God for what 2019 has been. It was a dull moment in one area but so happening in the other. I just have to be thankful for all of it because each and every one of it taught me something. It was truly a beautiful year without me realizing it. Alhamdulillah.
I am ready for 2020. It will mark another phase of life. The big five 0 is looming over my head but I'm ready, I have to be. I welcome it with open arms. And I hope I will be able to write another entry at the end of 2020 to welcome 2021 and so on. My only wish for the year is to be as healthy as ever, more knowledgeable, more optimistic and positive about life in general. I especially want to be closer to God as well. In shaa Allah.
I shall keep and refer to 2019, and 2020..bring it on...
