Irsyad turned 10 last July. How time flies! I still remembered his face the first moment I saw him fresh from my tummy. And now he is 10. He has turned out to be such a wonderful boy though having bouts of tantrum (yeap still!). Instead of still being "my baby", he has become an individual on his own, having his own needs and wants.. no longer needing his mommy around. It's rather sad.
Hey.. wait a minute.. he's only 10! How come I have all this feeling? Of course he still needs mommy around! Perhaps he has changed so much this year that makes me feel this way. These are the obvious change:
1) Refuse to wear any cartoon character t-shirts or PJs. No more Superman or Ultraman. Would only wear those abstract t-shirt or with "cool" words on it.. like "Quicksilver" or "BAM", "GAP".. or cool phrases like "My life rules..." or the likes.
2) Loves jeans and t-shirt for outing.. no more slack.. (slack is considered "nerdy"!).. he hated jeans last year and wud only wear slack! Short shorts is a big no no except for Bermudas
3) Shirt and pants.. must match in colors.. has become very color coordinated!
4) Started chatting on YM with friends.. and wud invte all friend to be on YM. This... is a bit scary, I must always be watching
5) Search for real songs (like Letto) on YouTube instead of Ultraman, Ben10 or Digimon
6) Think Std 2 kids are small KIDs!!
7) Stay up late for movies or simply YM.. and wake up late.. (this is a no no really.. the latest I allow is 10am)
8) Cannot live without his handphone!
And the list can go on and on!
I did not really notice this as I treat them all the same.. my babies. But with all these changes, I have to treat him differently. One is because to ensure that he understands that I understand him, thus he will not stray away from me as his MOM and start seeking for his friends' advice instead! I have to be his friend as well! Two, because to let him grow and develop as a "good" teenager with our guidance. To guide him to face the cruel world outside. Perhaps he's not quite there yet but a strong foundation shouldbe instilled from now on.
There are too many social ills out there involving youth these days and it really scares me. I can only guide my children to some point of their life, after that their lives is in their own hands. Without a strong foundation of faith, good values and partly education, they can easily get strayed away.
Having said that, I believe I myself must change my parenting style to suit the age. We have to behave accordingly to their age as well. Treat them as an individual.. no longer the baby we carry in our arms.. but rather the one we guide with our hands and heart.
I hope I will be the "abled" parent to do this... now for Irsyad and later for the rest of his siblings. Nevertheless, no matter how old they are.. they are still my "babies" in my heart!
3 comments:
Toyah,
I agree with you 100% but it's tough sometimes to control your cool especially when your soon to be a teenager son crosses the line. But so long as they know and hear us telling them how much we love them over and over again. Insyallah, they will not tempt to do any stupid stuff.
Jazmin was home alone starting from 10 years old and alhamdulillah, she turned out fine. Of course, she will give me headache many times over doing house chores but I count my blessing when she is ok as a teenager. At least I know I have done something good. But I still have 2 more to go and they are boys which many said quite challenging than girls.
I know you have done a fantastic job so far. I am sure you will continue to be better. Insyallah.
Good luck.
Thanks Yus..
I know where to go if I ever have problem with a teenager huh!
Wah Irsyad dah besar huh?? Can still remember singing Twinkle Little Star with him when u came to Penang in 2000. Arif turned 8 today. Pun dah macam budak besar.. heheheh..
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