Monday, July 10, 2017

I am still here

I am still here.. very much alive, Alhamdulillah. 

I am still doing whatever I am doing. It's almost a year since I last wrote in here. I'm not sure why I still bother to write when I know very well that nobody's gonna read this. But hey... Am not looking for any audience. This blog is purely for me and my memories. Perhaps something I can look back to later in life. Hence I should be writing something more meaningful, more memorable. Not just random ramblings huh. Then again my writing at any point should reflect what I'm feeling at the moment.

So what am I feeling right now? The same feeling I've had for the past few months.. Since early of the year. I'm excited, motivated, full of energy. I go to trainings, meetings, read books, exercises, and all other positive activities. And all these activities should lead me to generating more income, feeling more positive in life and hence lead a better life. So does it really work? In a way yes... I cannot make a drastic change in my life. I have to consider those around me who has to adjust to changes that I do. So I have to do it gradually. I have to be patient in getting to where I want to go. As much as I want things to happen, I still have my hiccups. I am still not living my dreams. I am getting there in shaa Allah. 

Just as time flies too fast, kids grow up faster than I can catch up. I feel like I'm losing them at one point. Everyone has become so independent that they seem to not needing me anymore! They are constantly busy with their "own" life..I only come in when their stomach is empty.. how comforting is that??

I hope I will get where I'm heading eventually. I have to be confident. I have to be bold and dare to explore. It's just that age is catching up... Then again it should never be an excuse. Ok yes.. in shaa Allah I will get there. 

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